


My Immortal || The Worst FanFiction of All Time || [Original Writing with Commentary from SinfulWordMaster.]

by SinfulWordMaster



Series: Writting Challenge: Horrendous FanFictions [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter RPF
Genre: Horribly Written, Multi, My Immortal - Freeform, Oh My God, The Worst Fanfiction of All Time, Written Commenty, not mine, shitty - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2015-11-07
Packaged: 2018-04-21 00:03:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 32,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4807325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SinfulWordMaster/pseuds/SinfulWordMaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My Immortal is known as the worst fanfiction on FanFiction[dot]net to date; it's based around the Harry Potter fandom and the writing is horribly constructed and horribly written with a rather odd Mary Sue character. Follow the odd character as she goes through Hogwards, meets Draco, and a shit ton of stuff happens.</p>
<p>[FanFiction with the actual original writing found on a website; bold text is my commentary. There's a lot.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. [Chapter One Through Five.]

**Oh my god what the hell am I doing. I found a YouTuber who read this and I thought, why not re-find it, and write commentary over it? This will kill my brain cells. And it will kill yours too. I might actually make a serious over this if people like it and review some of the shittiest fanfics on FanFiction, Wattpad, Archive of our Own, or any other writing sites. If you like this, oh my god. If you dislike this, good. :D Because I do too. :D Doing this for the lawlz. No regrets. Maybe a little. I know I'm known for YouTuber fanfics, but this must be made! >]  
**

**Original writing will be in non-bold.**

**My commentary will be in brackets ( [ ] ) and bold text; the text that has actual grammar, spelling and punctuation is mine. xD.  
**

**Let us being this horrible idea of mine. Again, little regret. Enjoy >]**

**\-------------------------------**

** [Chapter One]  
**

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) **[Goffik; is that a childish term of Gothic?]** 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. **[Spelling. The spelling is horrific; this Ravin person did a horrible job, my dear.]** U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX! **[Justin Beiber? No wonder; and really? My Chemical Romance. It's a good band, but seriously? Rox? You rox my sox off.]**

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Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way **[Wait a second. What kind of name is that? If I had that name, I'd change it; or laugh about it.]** and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). **[Grammar, woman! Such a long run-on. The description is okay but it's not needed. And this Mary Sue is an Amy Lee wanna be.~]** I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. **[The fuck.]** I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, **[A witch and vampire hybrid. Kay.]** and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. **[Does Hot Topic even exist in the Harry Potter world? Time traveler!]** For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. **[This is not needed. But okay.]** I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, **[No shit, Sherlock. If the sun came out, you'd probably melt.]** which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them. **[You bitch.]**

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was.... Draco Malfoy! **[Oh shit! Dun dun dun!]**

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly. **[Draco is not shy. If he was Shy, He'd be named Draco Potter. Shy fuck.]**

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away. **[Later bitches. I gotta go away now for no reason what so ever.]**

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                                                                                      **[Chapter Two]  
**

 

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok! **[Flame it all! Flame on!]**

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The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. **[You sleep in a coffin and you drink human blood. Did that come from Draco's body? Since, 'ya know.]** My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. **[Whoever you got that from must have been a giant. Or you're just a twig.]** Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun. **[Why do we need these details now? It's getting repetitive already.]**

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) **[Oh great, more Mary Sue's.]** woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.) **[Why! Stop!]**

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly. **[Like, oh my fucking god. Why were you two talking!]**

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing. **[I wonder if a blush would even show up on her face.]**

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall. **[Oh yes. I like the fuck after seeing him once.]**

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted. **[Liar.]**

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me. **[Nice timing, douche.]**

"Hi." he said. **[Hola.]**

"Hi." I replied flirtily. **[Gross; and what the fuck is a flirtily. Is that even a word.]**

"Guess what." he said. **[I'm a douche.]**

"What?" I asked. **[He's a douche.]**

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me. **[The fuck. Why would Good Charlotte come to a school for witches and wizards when they could use a god-mod spell and actually make it happen. Gasp! I bet that's what happened! Illuminati!]**

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR. **[No one cares.~]**

"Well.... do you want to go with me?" he asked. **[Horrible plots mean horrible timing for relationships to start.]**

I gasped. **[Shit.]**

\------------------------------------

 

                                                                                **[Chapter Three]**

 

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte. **[I have nothing to say about this horrible way of grammar. You ruin many brain cells. And so am I by doing this. You're fucking welcome.]**

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On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. **[Here we go again. A crap ton of clothing descriptions.]** I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. **[Well okay then. I guess Goths do that now-a-days.]** I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. **[You are now a clown.]** Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert. **[Ugh.]**

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. **[Cars that drive on the ground is too main-stream.]** He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner **[Did you turn Draco into an Emo? I think you did.]** (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!). **[The flying fuck does this A/N say. All I see is bullshit.]**

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice. **[Hi, Draco. I'm so fucking depressed. You wanna see my bloody wrists.]**

"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. **[Mercedes-Benz's don't fly. And how the hell did he get hold of one of them? And it seems that Draco is the Devil in Disguise.]** On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. **[Never seen Draco as a druggie. What have you done to him!]** When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. **[Was it still flying in the air when you hopped out? Did you break all your bones in the process?]** We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood  
They're all so happy you've arrived  
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom  
She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song). **[No shit.]**

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Draco looked sad. **[Welp. Draco has several mood changes in a matter of seconds.]**

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said. **[-Shakes head.-]**

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective. **[Draco has feelings, everyone. Draco Malfoy has feelings!]**

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face. **[Rude.]**

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into........................... the Forbidden Forest! **[You gonna get raped, yo.]**

\------------------

** [Chapter Four] **

AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY nut mary su OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok! **[What the fuck is this. Also, what the hell is an Enoby? Ebola? Draco has feelings for a horribly created Mary Sue! Aaah! Run!]**

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"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?" **[He's gonna kidnap you.]**

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously. **[Again, was it floating and did you break all your bones?]**

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily. **[Angry about nothing. I see how it is.]**

"Ebony?" he asked. **[No. It's Enoby.]**

"What?" I snapped. **[The fuck you want, bitch.]**

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore. **[You should feel scared, actually. But okay.]**

And then............... **[Wait for it...]** suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. **[You're Draco now?]** Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. **[Keenly? The fuck is that?]** He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time. **[He put his thingy into your you-know-what. He put his dick in your pussy. There we go. Much better.]**

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. **[Ten seconds later, she has to cum. The fuck.]** We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then.... **[And then...?]**

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!" **[Oh. Okay.]**

It was.............................................................Dumbledore! **[I am highly concerned yet very disturbed. I wonder if Dumbledore was stalking them and was like, "Oh yes. This is great." Hah. Gross.]**

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** [Chapter Five] **

 

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws! **[Dumbledore having a headache and cursing up a storm is funny. The fuck have you created. -Crosses arms over chest.- I'm not gonna update either unless I get five good reviews, either! -Shakes head.- Oh my god...]**

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Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily. **[Dumbledore made what? Pie? Did he make pie with his headache he supposedly had then began shouting again since it was so bad? I bet.]**

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted. **[It's spelt ludicrous. I think he had a stroke while he said this.]**

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. **[Crying blood. You should go see a doctor for that. The fuck is a pallid? Could have just said pale. Or dead. Since you're pale as death apparently.]** Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry. **[Better run, bitch.]**

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice. **[Oh god! Sexual intercourse! He put his thingy in her you-know-what and went bam bam! Hah.]**

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall. **[Because they can, I suppose.]**

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape. **[Such calmness. Such weirdness. Much not Snape.]**

And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!" **[Draco is now a girl. And he loves her after he had five seconds of a fuck fest. Welp. Illuminati.]**

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms." **[They should get punished by having to show you have the fucked and how long it lasted. A single blink of an eye and you'll miss the spectacular, wonderful fun.]**

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us. **["Fucking kids."]**

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently. **[It's Enoby! Fuck.  Get my name right.]**

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out.... **[Here we go again. -Shoots self.-]**

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte. **[What the flying fuck?]** I was so flattered, **[Wait! I'd be scared if Draco sang to me. Good Charlotte is a good band too but Draco singing is so outta character. If he sang, better check his pulse.]** even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. **[Gross.]** After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room. **[Finally.]**

**\---------------------------------**

**Lmao xD If you like the way that I'm doing this and you want to see more, let me know eue. I'm having way too much fun with this eue. I might actually make it a series. >]  
**

**Again, if you like it, leave me some of dem lovely reviews and I shall continue.~**

**Also, if anything I said offended any of you, I apologize; I have a dark and weird sense or humor. This is mostly heavy sarcasm so don't take it personally!**

 


	2. [Chapter Six Through Eleven.] || With Written Commentary. ||

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More bullshit.

**Let us begin the next chapters!  
**

 

**\--------------------------------------**

**[Chapter Six]  
**

AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows! **[No one will give you good reviews. Is this really worth the good reviews?]**

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The next day I woke up in my coffin. **[Like usual. You're dead then you wake up alive!]** I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple. **[Annnnd here we go again! -Shoots self.-]**

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. **[Why the tits would you put blood on a cereal that's so innocent and so yummy. It's supposed to be with milk, you dunce.]** Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top. **[Of course.]**

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. **[Of course everyone is Gothic around here. What is this, Gothic Town?]** He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. **[I guess he his eyes ate the eyeliner and ate the lipstick.]** He didn't have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko. **[What the fuck? This sentence disturbs me heavily. _You're_ the sicko!]**

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice. **[Someone looking so rough and Gothic has a shy voice. Poser.]**

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned. **[Oh, now she's being nice. What a twist!]**

"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled. **[Wh..? Vampire? What the fuck kind of names are these? Changing canon to original character isn't right. But whatever.]**

"Why?" I exclaimed. **[I wonder that too.]**

"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled. **[For fucks sake. -Facepalm.-]**

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed. **[Again, for the third time, no shit.]**

"Really?" he whimpered. **[No; she's a hybrid and she's gonna eat your face off if you're not careful!]**

"Yeah." I roared. **[Why the fuck are your roaring?]**

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him. **[Welp. Drag the Mary Sue away from bullshit cliche. Kay.]  
**

**\------------------------------**

**Chapter 7. Bring me 2 life _[What the fuck.]_  
**

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! **[Oh wow. Give this bitch her ten good reviews. Or vons. Whatever the fuck that is.]** STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! **[Scary.]** Evony **[I thought her name was Ebony; or Enoby. The fuck is a Evony?]** isn't a Marie Sue ok she isn't perfect SHES A SATANITS! **[Don't you mean a saint?]** n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake! **[Woah. Calm down; slow your roll. Calm your tits.]**

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Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). **[Yes it does.]** I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then............ **[We fucked.]**

We started frenching passively **[Welp. Let us being the five second sex scene. -Gets one carnal of popcorn.-]** and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. **[That's a bit word to spell.]** He felt me up before I took of my top. **[Off; you can't of a top.]** Then I took off my black leather bra and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?) **[It is! Oh my god! Boy thingy in mine. So that sentence in and of itself makes it seem that you have a 'boy thingy' and somehow he stuck it in your boy thingy. What the fuck.]**

"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. **[Welp. Let's fuck until I cum then I'll randomly see your tattoo and ruin the fuck fest. GG.]** It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words............ Vampire! **[Hah!! Ahahah! Hah! Ha. -Shifty eyes.- Hah!]**

I was so angry. **[I'm laughing. Why are you angry. People ship this shit.]**

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed. **[Time to run out of the room nude!]**

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much. **[Oh. I understand. You do the do with 'Vampire,' you freaky bitch.]**

"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!" **[Hah! What the fuck. Now you have AIDS, too.]**

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. **[Huffily? Excuse?]** Draco ran out even though he was naked. **[Hah!]** He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. **[Woah woah. What the fuck.]** I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people. **[Shits gonna go down, yo.]**

"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled. **[And now the shit that is gonna go down begins.]  
**

**\----------------------------------------**

**Chapter 8.**

AN: stop flassing ok! if u do den u r a prep! **[Flassing? You're a prep, you prep.]**

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Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back. **[I'm disturbed by this sentence. Someone, help.]**

"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco screamed sadly. **[Oh, yes it is.]**

My friend B'loody Mary Smith **[Wait wait wait. Hold the phone. B'loody Mary Smith? What the fuck? I--. Uh... -Backs away slowly.- This bitch is weird.]** smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. **[Blood doesn't need contact lenses to see. That's just stupid.]** She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. Hermione was kidnapped when she was born. **[Wait what? Excuse? More elaboration, please.]** Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. ) **[Uhhhhhhhh. What the flying fuck? Again, changing canon to OC. Great.]**

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him. **[To fuck you in front of the class.]**

"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" I shouted at him. **[Dun dun dun.]**

Everyone gasped. **[More dun dun duns.]**

I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me. I had went out with Vampire (I'm bi and so is Ebony) **[This could have been stated many chapters before but o-fucking-kay.]** for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.) **[-Shoots self.-]**

"But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire. **[Uh-huh.]**

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility to Draco and then I started to bust into tears. **[Virility. Virginity, my dear. And you didn't lose it; he just stuck it in and and that was it.]**

**Chapter 9.**

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox! dis is frum da movie ok **[This shit is not in the movies. What the fuck kind of drugs are you on?]** so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson snap **[Snap? What?]** dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist! **[What the fuck.]** MCR ROX! **[Sure it does. It rox your sox off.]**

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I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco. **[Is it still stained with invisible semen?]**

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! **[No nose and everything. So, he has nothing apparently?]** He didn't have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. **[Everyone is fucking Gothic in this place.]** It was...... Voldemort! **[Wh..? But you just said..? Oh forget it.]**

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away. **[Haha.]**

"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him. Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped. **[Wow.]**

"Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!" **[Thou? Is Voldemort poetic now? Thou must kill-eth Vampire Potter. ...Eth.]**

I thought about Vampire and his sexah **[Sexah? The fuck?]** eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up?

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back. **[Yes Voldemort!]**

Voldemort gave me a gun. "No! Please!" I begged. **[Do it. Just do it!]**

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!" [ **Excuse you. Voldemort isn't poetic; nor is he Shakespeare.]**

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way. **[He knows. He knows all.]**

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. "I hath telekinesis." **[Hath? These words are weird.]** he answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick. **[Bye then. Thanks for the Shakespearean talk, Voldemort!]**

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods. **[Course he does.]**

"Draco!" I said. "Hi!" **[Hi, bitch.]**

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way. **[What the fuck?]**

"Are you okay?" I asked. **[Nope. I'm white as a ghost.]**

"No." he answered. **[See?]**

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled. **[He did.]**

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out. **[Y'all are like rabbits.]**

**Chapter 10.**

AN: stup it u gay fags **[Fags is a discriminatory word; so is gay. [In this context it is.] That's a no-no.]** if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! **[Kay. -Pisses off.- Oh wait. I'm doing this shit. Fuck.]** ps it turnz out b'loody mary isn't a muggle afert al n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses ok! **[Why is everyone a god for sake Vampire!? This shit should be named Hogwarts school for Vampires.]**

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I was really scared about Vlodemort all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666. [Demonic Illuminati!] I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR. **[..A mix between Good Charlotte, Slipknot and My Chemical Romance. So.. Depressing mixed with heavy metal..?]** The other people in the band are B'loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diabolo now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.) **[What the fuck!?]** and Hargrid. **[Oh hell nah.]** Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that) **[Cross. -Shrugs.-]** or a steak) and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride. **[Oh, that's a good movie.]** I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. **[Slut.]** You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not. **[Hah! I just said you were!]**

We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.

"Ebony! Are you OK?" B'loody Mary asked in a concerted voice. **[Nope.]**

"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily. And then I said. "Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! **[Thought his name was Vampire? Does he change it everyday?]** But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!" I burst into tears. **[Nice sob story. I cry.]**  
Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall. **[The fuck.]**

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!" (c is dat out of character?) **[Yes, it is out of character.]**

I started to cry and cry. **[Boohoo.]** Draco started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying. **[Pussy.]**

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Dumbeldore walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache. **[He turned into a vampire! Oh shit.]**

"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) **[What I don't understand, is why characters cry randomly; writing FanFiction and making people cry for the most dumbest reasons just makes the readers laugh. Anyway.]** "Ebony Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists." **[Dun dun to the dun!]**

**Chapter 11. _[Why is this still going on!?]_  
**

AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 **[So many ones. So much pissed. So much laughter.]** it delz wit rly sris issus! **[Uh huh. Please, don't go on.]** sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me! **[I don't see any improvement in this story so far. Raven hasn't done diddly squat.]**

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"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! **[Horrorfied. Ah! I'm so horrorfied! Horrified.]** B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. **[This other Mary Sue could have helped but noooo.]** Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way. **[The fuck.]**

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. **[Oh. Okay. Anyway! I went to my room and began to go Emo again and cut my wrists and possibly drink the blood.]** They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily **[Just jump in that bath. That tub didn't do anything to you. Don't jump in it angrily.]** while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. **[Deep.]** I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. **[Sandly? Is it made outta sand?]** I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. **[More... Descriptions..]** I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed... Snap **[Oh Snape.]** was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! **[What the fuck?]** And Loopin was masticating to it! [ **What the fuck times two. And masticating. You mean masturbating.]** They were sitting on their broomsticks.

"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" **[Welp. Pedos. Gee gee.]** I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in. **[These bitches have weird timing.]**

"Abra Kedavra!" **[Is this the killing spell or some type of little children's Abracadabra trick?]** he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb. **[Womb?! What?!]** I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times **[What the fuck?]** and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumblydore **[Dumblydore?! Haha! That's the best thing I've ever read in my life!]** ran in. "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" **[Someone has NOOOOOOOO. Well then. That's great news.]** he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly... **[I don't wanna know.]**

Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk. **[Random Hagrid here.]**

"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!" **[What.]**

"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT...." Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!" **[Oh for the love of--]**

"This cannot be." Snap **[It fucking is, Snap; it fucking is.]** said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him. **[Oh. My. God. More Dumblydores!]** "There must be other factors." **[Never.]**

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly. **[How do you yell in madly?]**

Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly. **[Elephant?]** "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood. **[Blood-sucker.]**

"Why are you doing this?" Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook. **[Clook? Cloak?]**

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint. **[What.]**

"BECAUSE...BECAUSE...." Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent. **[WHAT?!]**

"Because you're goffic?" **[Goffic. Screw it. We're all Goffic now.]** Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan. **[Wow.]**

"Because I LOVE HER!" **[W O W.]  
**

**\--------------------**

**I'm having too much fun with this. Shoot me. I'm loosing brain cells. If I become a vegetable by the end of this, you know why. xD  
**


	3. [Chapter Twelve Through Twenty-Two] || With Written Commentary. ||

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prepare your anus for more bullshit times two.

**This part is the last of this website page until I go to the next one [23 - 44 [Oh god.] ] So why not just add it all in one shot then continue tomorrow? xD?  
**

**Viewer Excretion [Ew; did that on purpose.] Advised. This is also going to be very long. xD. I hope you guys like this for the ones who remember this fanfic. xD. I sure do. Sigh.  
**

**Before I even start this shit has 5,964 words. Oh god. xD. Wish me luck. ;~;  
**

**\--------------------------------**

**Chapter 12. _[I still don't understand why this book is still going. But okay.]_  
**

AN: stop f,aing ok hargrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu! how du u no snap iant kristian plus hargrid isn't really in luv wif ebony dat was sedric ok! **[Okay. Wait a second. Hagrid isn't a pedophile in 'Amerikan skoolz.' the fuck are you going on about. You're weird. This is weird. Why am I still doing this. Hands cramping. -Dies-]**

XXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX **[I never noticed the 666 until now. Well shit.]**

I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Drago **[Drago? Is he part dragon now?]** had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together. **[What.]**

"NO!" I THOUGHT IT WAS HAIRgrid **[NICE WAY TO KEEP CAPS LOck on and take it off when hair and grid are in separate cases. Hah.]** but it was Vampire. He started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" **[What scar. The scar on his ass?]** and then..... his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites. **[Ew..]**

I stopped. "How did u know?" **[Who knows.]**

"I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!" **[A-dun dun dun!]**

"NO!" I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted. **[I lied to you! Aha!]**

"I do but Diabolo **[Diabolo? What? The fuck is this?]** changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." **[Cool story, bro.]** he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco................Volfemort has him bondage!" **[Several things are wrong here! Hah. One. Volfemort. -giggle- And why is there bondage. Is this shit gonna get kinky up in this bitch?]**

Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists. Snap and Loopin and HAHRID **[-Chokes- Hahrid. Haha.]** were there too. They were going to St. Mango's after they recovered cause they were pedofiles **[I guess files can be pedo too.]** and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz. Dumbledore had constipated **[Haha!]** the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them. **[You're constipated; screw you!]**

Anyway Hargrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses. **[Cheesy bastard.]**

"Enoby I need to tell u somethnig." he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses. **[V. serious. S. Serious. Serious Black.]**

"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don't like fucked up preps like you." I snapped. Hargrid had been mean to me before for being gottik. **[Gottik? I thought it was Goffic. Make up yer mind!]**

"No Enoby." Hargrid says. "Those are not roses." **[Their cameras set up so I can watch you do the do.]**

"What, are they goffs too you poser prep?" **[Goffs? Golf.]** I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily. "No you didn't I replied." "You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Snap and Loopin." **[I have no fucking clue what this monstrosity is. Someone help.]** Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong) **[Everything you type is spelt wrong. The fuck you talkin' bout.]** to it he added silently.

"Whatever!" I yelled angirly. **[Pff! Like, whatver!]**

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses." He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY! . **[Isn't there supposed to be quotation marks somewhere in this bullshit? I see none.]**

"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely. **[Uuuugh.]**

"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes." Then he screamed. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!" **[What the fuck are you writing right here. I'm not even gonna try to read it even though I know what it means.]**

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn't a prep. **[Such magic. Such stupidity.]**

"OK I believe you now wtf is Drako?" **[I wanna know what the fuck a Drako is too.]**

Hairgrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing. **[His hair is a grid.]**

"U c, Enobby," Dumblydore **[Butcher of names! The return of the infamous Dumblydore has returned!]** said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?" **[Ew what the fuck is this bullshit. This writing kills my brain. If I die, I'm suing.]**

"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" **[You're so mean to me!]** Hargrid yelled. dUMBLydore **[I can't even; nor can I odd.]** lookd shockd. I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back. **[Wow.]**

Hairgrid stormed off back into his bed. "U r a liar, prof dumbledoree!" **[I. Can't Even! Oh my god.]**

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don't know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!) and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss. **[Again. What's the fucking point?]**

"You look kawai, girl." **[Wrong! Kawaii.]** B'loody Mary said sadly. "Fangs (geddit) **[No.]** you do too." I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood. **[Grotty.]** I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snap and Loopin couldn't spy on me this time. I went to some classes. **[How could you go to classes when you were in the tub? Did you take the tub with you?]** Vampire was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures. He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff. **[They don't do anything anyway.]**

"Hi." he said in a depressed way. "Hi back." I said in an wqually said way. **[My back didn't say hello.]**

We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos. Then......... we jumped on each other and started screwing each other. **[CHEATER!]**

"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor McGoggle **[McGoggle. Why!]** who was watching us and so was everyone else.

"Vampire you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved **[Loved?]** Draco!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then..... his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites. **[Not again.]**

"NO!" I ran up closer. **[Stay away.]**

"I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted. **[We went through this.]**

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco................Volfemort has him bondage!" **[Repeat!]**

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SPECIAL FANGZ 2 RAVEN MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111

HEY RAVEN DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER I **[Nice cutoff of the sentence.]  
**

**\----------------------------------------**

**Chapter 13.**

AN: raven fangz 4 gelpin **[Gelpin... Haha.]** me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of gerard but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom! PREPZ STOP FLAMIGNG!

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Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore. We were so scared.

"Dumbledore Dumblydore!" we both yelled. Dumbledore came there. **[Dumbledore! Where for art thou Dumblydore! Haha!]**

"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?" he asked angrily.

"Volsemort has Draco!" **[What the tits is a Volsemort? Voldemort's twin brother?]** we shouted at the same time.

He laughed in an evil voice. **[Run, bitch.]**

"No! Don't! We need to save Draco!" we begged. **[Fuck Draco.]**

"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Ebony." **[Yes, we fucked all over the place. Even in your office!]** he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway." **[Plot twist!]** then he walked away. Vampire started crying. "My Draco!" he moaned. (AN: don't u fik gay guyz r lik so hot!) **[I dunno if this is meant to be rude since you said fik other thank fink or. I dunno.]**

"Its okay!" I tried to tell him but that didn't stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. **[You better get that checked out.]** Then he had a brainstorm. "I had an idea!" he exclaimed.

"What?" I asked him.

"You'll see." he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then...... suddenly we were in Voldemprt's lair! **[Why do you have so many names for these people?]  
**

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. "Allah Kedavra!" **[When did Allah get here?]**  
It was...................................... Voldemort! **[Oh dun dun dun!]**

**Chapter 14.**

AN: fuk off PREPZ ok! Raven fangz 4 helpin agen. im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists. PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws! **[Geez. What a drama Queen. Oh I cut mah wrists. Someone feel sorry for meh! God.]**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXX **[More 666 mumbo jumbo.]**

WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD. **[Who's gonna be excreting anything? That is disgusting.]**

We ran to where Volcemort was. It turned out that Voldemort wasn't there. Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was. **[Discrimination!]** Draco was there crying tears of blood. **[Fuck the blood. It's getting old.]** Snaketail was torturing him. Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail.

"Rid my sight you despicable preps!" he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. "EbonyIloveyouwiluhavesexwithme." **[The fuck?]** he said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok)

"Huh?" I asked.  
"Enoby I love you will you have sex with me?" **[And have my children. And teach my children horrible grammar.]** asked Snaketail. I started laughing crudely. "What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard." **[Got'em!]** I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain.

"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly. **[I am laughing tears of salt.]**

"Snaketail what art thou doing?" called Voldemort. Then...... he started coming! **[Thank god she didn't type 'cumming.' That would be even fucking weirder than this is right now.]** We could hear his high heels clacking to us. **[What kind of music are they making?]** So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts. We went to my room. Vampire went away. There I started crying. **[Babies.]**

"What's wrong honey?" asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw. He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what and everything. **[Everything is wrong with this little tiny paragraph. Sex-pack? Seriously? And you two screw like rabbits. When is Ebony or Enoby or Ebola gonna pop out some weird ass kids? Waitin'.]**

"Its so unfair!" I yielded. **[Take a break. Yield. Then go.]** "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here except for B'loody Mary, because she's not ugly or anything."

"Why would you wanna be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts." **[Slut shaming!]** answered Draco.

"Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked. Hargrid says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Draco! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?" **[Because if you were less so called hot, the story wouldn't have existed in the first place. So shut up and screw like rabbits.]** I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory enoby isn't a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty) **[Like whom?]** "Im good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" **[Your grammar is a curse.]** I shouted and then I ran away.

**Chapter 15. _[It's... Still... Going!]_  
**

AN: stup flaming ok! btw u suk frum no on evry tim sum1 flams me im gona slit muh ristsz! **[Guilt tripping.~]** fangz 2 raven 4 hlpein! **[You're not welcome. -Sneezes.-]**

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"Ebony Ebony!" shouted Draco sadly. "No, please, come back!" **[Nevah!]**

But I was too mad.

"Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Vampire!" **[Oh shinkies.]** I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of Marylin Manson on it. **[Obsession.~]** He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Draco and Vampire. I started to cry and weep. **[Weeping and crying is the same thing.]** I took a razor and started to slit my wrists. **[Suicide attempt!]** I drank the blood all depressed. **[Depressive states!** ] Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class.

I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters. I put my ebony black hair out. **[A G A I N.]** Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum advanced Biology work. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned to Draco! **[It's alive!]**

"Enoby I love you!" he shouted sadly. "I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most beautiful girl in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!." **[Wooooooooow.]** Then................ he started to sing "Da Chronicles of Life and Death" (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel was singing it) **[What the fuck.]** right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson **[Wh.. I don't think so.]** (AN: don't u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) . **[I don't know who any of those people are except Gerald and Manson. The rest are nonexistent in my brain.]**

"OMFG." **[Oh my fucking god!]** I said after he was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Draco's now) **[You, my child, need to stop with the random bullshit descriptions!]** at them. "I love you!" I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and CMM in a Cinderella Story. **[What the fucking fuck.]** Then we went away holding hands. Loopin shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. **[Or they were clapping becuse you guys walked away finally.]** Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Hogsmede right then. **[For fucks sake.]** We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether.

**Chapter 16.**

AN: u no wut! sut up ok! proov 2 me ur nut prepz! raven u suk u fuken bich gimme bak mah fukijn swteet ur supsd 2 rit dis! Raven wtf u bich ur suposd to dodis! BTW fangz 2 britney5655 4 techin muh japnese! **[You don't know Japanese; you can't even spell it right. Nor can you spell cute [I.E. Kawaii] right. This is going to be a disgrace to me. Time to get offended.]**

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We ran happily to Hogsmede. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly. MCR were there playing 'Helena'. I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Draco thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection **[Welp. Draco is bisexual. You heard it here, folks.]** but it didn't matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. Draco was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. **[Who cares.~]** Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. **[Gross.]** We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn't them at all. It was.,............................. Volsemort and da Death Dealers! **[Volsemore and the Death Dealers! Ah! They deal Death than drugs! Geez. Death. E A T E R S.]**

"Wtf Draco im not going to a concert wid u!" I shouted angrily. "Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them" **[Well sorry, Drama Queen.]**

"What cause we...you know..." **[Because I fucked you for ten seconds?]** he gadgetted uncomfortbli cause guys don't like to talk a bout you-know-what.

"Yeah cause we you know!" I yielded in an angry voice.

"We won't do that again." Draco promised. "This time, we're going with an ESCORT."

"OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?" I asked. "So I guess ur a prep or a Christina **[Christina? Christian? What?]** or what now?"

"NO." he muttered loudly.

"R u becoming a prep or what?" I shootd angrily. **[He is _soooooo_ preppy!] **

"Enoby! I'm not! Pls come with me!" He fell down to his knees and started singing 'Da world is black' by GC to me. **[Wow.]**

I was flattened **[Hahahah!]** cause that's not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me!

"OK then I guess I will have to." I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room. **[Rabbits!]**

B'loody Mary was standing there. "Hajimemashite gurl." **[Oh my god...]** she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz 'how do u do' **[Can't believe you got that right; but it's better as "Nice to meet you."]** in japanese). "BTW Willow that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math." (an: RAVEN U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!) **[Wow.]**

"It serves that fuking bich right." I laughed angrily. **[Friendships died this day.]**

Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. "Maybe Willow will die too." I said.

"Kawai." **[Kawaii! God!]** B'loody Mair shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. **[What the fuck are these two words?]** "Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den loopin did it with her cause he's a necphilak." [Necophilak... Necrophiliac.] 

"Kawai." **[No!]** I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie.

"OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with drako **[He's turned again.]** tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr." I sed. " I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA."

B'Loody Mairy Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. **[What the fuck is this.]** "Omfg totally lets go shopping."

"In Hot Topic, right?" **[Hot Topic isn't real in England! [I got told that by a friend xD.] ]** I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde.

"No." My head snaped up.

'WHAT?" my head spuin. **[Head spuin. Head spin? Are you possessed?]** I could not believe it. "B'Loody Mary are u a PREP?"

"NOOOO!NOOOO!" She laughed. "I found some cool goffic stores near Hogwarts that's all."

"Hu told u abut them" I askd sure it would be Drako or Diabolo or Vampire(don't even SAY that nam to me!). Or me.

"Dumblydore." **[It's back!]** She sed. "Let me just call our broms."

"OMFFG DUMBLYDORE?" **[It's back again! -Enter random tunes here.-]** I asked quietly.

"Yah I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk." She told me. "Come on let's go."

We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in Hogsmeade. **[So much is wrong with that sentence.]** The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE **[The fuck.]** and he gave me a few dresses. "We only have these for da real goffs."

"Da real goffs?" Me and B'Loody Mary asked.

"Yah u wouldn't believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday loopin and snap tried to buy a goffic camera pouch." **[Oooooh their so poser.]** He shook his head. "I dint even no they had a camera."

"OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!" **[Haha.]** I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit.

"Oh my satan **[Satan?]** you have to buy that outfit" The salesperson said.

"Yeah it looks totlly **[Totlly. Heheh.]** hot." said B'Loody Mary.

"You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. **[Disturbed.]** Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?" **[No.]** he asked.

"Yeah I am actually." I looked back at him. "Hey BTW my name's ebondy dark'ness dementia TARA way what's yours?" **[Your name changed. What the fuck. It's even worse! Run away!]**

"Tom Rid." **[Riddle?]** He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. "maybe I'll see you there tonight."

"Yeah I don't think so cause I am going there with my bf drako you sick perv!" I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, Hargrid flew in on his black broom looking worried. "OMFG EBONDY U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!" **[Dun dun fucking dun.]**

**Chapter 17.**

AN: I sed stup flming da stryo! if ur a prep den dnot red it! u kin tel weder ur a prep or not by ma quiz itz on ma hompage. if ur not den u rok. if u r den FOOOOOK UFFFFFFFFFF! pz willo isn't rely a prep. Raven plz do dis il promis 2 giv u bak ur postr!

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Tom Riddle gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. **[Wow.]** He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual). **[What the fuck were those words. I don't think they are words.]** Hargird kept shooting at us to cum back 2 Hogwarts. "WTF Hargrid?" I shouted angrily. "Fuck off you fjucking bastard." Well anyway Willow came. Hargird went away angrily.

"Hey bitch you look kawaii." **[Wow. You got it right this time. I don't have to strangle your neck.]** she said.

"Yah but not as kawaii as you." **[Again, you got it right. People must have bitched at you to get it right.]** I answered sadly cause Willow's really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short black corset-thingy with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything. She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic. **[Why!?]**

"So r u going 2 da concert wif Draco?" she asked. **[Screw Draco. No, literally; we fuck like rabbits in heat.]**

"Yah." I said happily.

"I'm gong with Diabolo." she anserred happily. Well anyway Draco and Diabolo came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. **[My brain is melting.]** Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said '666' on it. He was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson. Draco was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vans he got from da Warped tower. B'loody Mart **[B'loody Mart?! I am dead.]** was going 2 da concert wif Dracola. Dracola used to be called Navel **[Navel? Don't you mean Nevel? I think that's spelt right.]** but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires. **[OF COURSE.]** They dyed in a car crash. **[They died the car crash crimson due to their blood. K.]** Navel converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was in Slitherin now. He was wearing a black Wurped **[What the fuck is a Wurped?]** t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Dracula now. Well anyway we al went 2 Draco's black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik) **[Fuck off with your Goffic bull.]** that his dad Lucian gave him. We did pot, coke and crak. **[What about Acid, Heroine, PCP and Bathsalts?]** Draco and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps. We soon got there.......I gapsed.

Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny **[He was secretly a twig.]** and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. **[I guess his songs are odd.]** Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn't Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man wif no nose and red eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Draco. Draco and I came. It was.......Vlodemort and da Death Deelers! **[Again with the dealers of death, hm?]**

"U moronic idiots!" he shooted angstily. "Enoby, I told u to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now..........I shall kill thou and Draco!" **[So horribly poetic.]**

"No no please!" We begged sadly but he took out his knife.

Sudenly a gothic old man flu **[The old man has the flu.]** in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair **[His lungs have hair? Gross!]**   and a looong black bread. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed 'avril lavigne' on da back. He shotted a spel and Vlodemort ran away. It was.......................................DUMBLYDORE! **[God damnit, Dumblydore.]**

Chapter 18.

AN: I SED STUP FLAMMING! if u do den ur a fuken prep! fangz 2 raven 4 da help n stuf. u rok! n ur nut a prep. fangz for muh sewter! ps da oder eson dumbeldor swor is koz he trin 2 be gofik so der! **[I don't understand a fucking thing this bull said. I'm just going to pretend it says, "I'm a preppy vampire and I write crappy Harry Potter fanfiction and everyone flames it because it's so horrible. Is that it? I think so.]**

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I woke up the next day in my coffin. **[The dead awakens.]** I walked out of it and put on some black eyeliner, black eyesharrow, blood-bed lipstick and a black really low-cut leather dress that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my belly. I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it. **[-Shoots self in the temple.-]**

(Da night before Draco and I rent back to the skull (geddit skull koz im goffik n I like deth). **[No. I don't understand your teenage preppish ways. Go home; you're wasted.]** Dumbeldore chased Vlodemort away. We flew there on our brooms. Mine was black and the broom-stuff was blood-red. There was lace all over it. Draco had a black MCR boom. **[-Shoots self in the crotch.-]** We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song.) **[Rabbits! Rabbits I tell 'ya!]**

Well anyway I went down to the Grate Hall. **[Great.]** There all da walls were painted black and da tables were black too. But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant. And there were pastors of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys. **[Sigh. I give up.]**

"WTF!" **[This entire fanfic is a what the fuck moment.]** I shouted going to sit next to B'loody Mary and Willow. B'loody Mary was wearing a black leather mini with a Good Chraloote t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Willow was wearing a long gothic blak dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and black boots and fishnets. **[.....]** Vampire, Dracula and Draco came. We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong. **[-Coughs-Armstrong.-Coughs.-]** The boys joined in cause they were bi. **[Of course they were.]**

"Those guys are so fucking hot." Navel was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came. He was the same one who had chassed away Vlodemort yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare black. **[Is he now a hare? Okay.]**

"...................DUMBLEDORE?1!" we all gasped. **[DumbledoreOne!?]**

"WTF?" I shouted angrily. "I thought he was just wearing that to scare Volsemort!"

"Hello everyone." he said happily. "As u can see I gave the room a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?" **[It's great. So great.]**

Everyone from the poser table in Gryiffindoor started to cheer. Well we goths just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We couldn't believe what a poser he was!1. **[Why is there a one there? Did someone forget to hit SHIFT?]**

"BTW you can call me Albert." **[Wesker.]** HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our classes.

"What a fucking poser!" Draco shouted angrily as we we to Transfomation. We were holding hands. Vampire looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a gothic way (geddit, way lik Gerard) **[No one gets it. Stop.]** but I didn't say anything. "I bet he's havin a mid-life crisis!" Willow shouted.

I was so fucking angry.

**\---------------------------------**

**Chapter 19. im nut ok i promise _[No, you're not if you kept writing this.]_  
**

AN: plz stup flaming da story if u do ur a foken prep n ur jelous ok!11 frum noq un im gong 2 delt ur men reviowz!111 BTW evonyd a poorblod so der!1 fangz 2 raven 4m da help!11 **[What the fuck.]**

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All day we sat angerly finking about Dumbelldore. **[Dumbelldore. Apparently he's now a bell. Oh. Okay.]** We were so fucking pissed off. Well, I had one thing to look forward too- da MCR concert. It had been postphoned, so we could all go.

Anyway, I went to the common room sadly to cut classes. Draco was being all secretive.

I asked what it was and he got all mad me and started crying all hot and angsty (rnt sensitve bi guyz so hot). **[Sigh. Idiots.]**

"No one fucking understands me!1" he shouted angrily as his black hare **[He has a hare as hair. Well then. No wonder he's such a horndog.]** went in his big blue eyes like Billie Joe in Boulevard of Borken Dreamz. **[Why the reference? No one cares. But Boulevard of Broken Dreams is a good song.]** He was wearing black baggy paints, a black MCR t-shirt and a black die. (geddit insted of tie koz im goffik) **[No!]** I was wearing a blak leather low cut top with chains all over it all over it a blak leather mini, black high held boots and a cross belly fing. My hair was al up in a messy relly high bun like Amy Lee in Gong Under. (email me if u wana see da pik) **[No; you don't exist anymore on the internet; if you do, and you see this, I hope you see this as a disgrace to writers; yet it's fucking hilarious.]**

"Accuse **[What? Excuse? Huh?]** me? What about me!" I growled.

"Buy-but-but-" he grunted.

"You fucking bastard!" I moaned.

"No! Wait! It's not what it fucking looks like!" he shouted.

But it was to late. I knew what I herd. I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring. **[Cring. Cool.]** Draco banged on the door. I whipped and whepped **[Whepped? What the fuck is that?]** as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces **[Poopy! Hahah!]** like Benji in the video for Girls and Bois (raven that is soo our video!). I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot. **[Druggie.]**

Suddenly Hargrid came. He had appearated. **[Excuse?]**

"You gave me a fucking shock!" I shouted angrily dropping my pot. "Wtf do you fink you're doing in da gurl's room?" **[He's secretly a woman, you see.]**

Only it wasn't just Hargrid. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it 2 b Tom Rid or maybe Draco but it was Dumblydore. **[Oh, Dumblydore. Shucks!]**

"Hey I need to ask you a question." he said, pulling out his black wanabe-goffik purse. "What are u wearing to the concert?"

"U no who MCR r!" I gasped.

"No I just saw there was a concert dat a lot of gothz and punx were going 2." He said. "Anyway Draco has a surprise for u." **[It's his thingy going up your hooha.]**

**Chapter 20. _[It's still going!]_  
**

AN: I sed I dnoty ker wut u fink! stof pflamin ok prepz!1 fangz 2 raven 4 da help!1 oh yah btw ill be un vacation in transilvania 4 da nex 3 dayz so dnot expect updatz. **[Good. I don't think anyone wants your updates anyway.]**

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All day I wondered what the surprise was. Meanwhile, I pot on **[You can't put pot on.]** a blak ledder mini, a blak corset with urple lace stuff all over it, an black gothic compact boots. MCR were gong 2 do the concert again, since Volxemort had taken over the last one. I slit my wrists while I moshed 2 MCR in my bedroom all night, feeling excited. **[Surprised you didn't die from bloodloss from moshing all night.]** Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on sum black clothes and moshing to Fang u 4 da Venom. I gut all mad and turned it of, but sacredly I hopped inside dat it was Draco so we could do it again.

"Wut de fucking hell r u doing!" I shouted angrily. It was Loopin! "R u gonna cum rape **[Nope. I can't. I can't make a joke. It's already there. It beat me to the punchline.]** me or what." I yelled. I was allowed to say dat because Dumblydore **[God damnit Dumblydore.]** had told us all 2 be careful around hem and Snap since he was a pedo.

"No, actshelly (geddit, hell) **[No; get it, cause you can't spell worth a shit.]** kan I plz burrow sum condemns." **[Condiminiams? Or Condoms? Or both?]** he growld angrily.

"Yah, so u can fuk ur six-yr-old gurlfriend, huh?" **[Woooooaaaah.]** I shouted sarkastikally. **[What the fuck is that.]**

"Fuker." He said, gong away.

Well anyway, I put on some black eyesharow, black eyeliner, and some black lipstick and white foundation. **[-Sigh.]** Then I went. Den I gasped.......................................................Snake and Loopin **[Snape turned into a Snake.]** were in da middle of da empty hall, doin it, and Dobby was watching!1

"Oh my god you ludacris idiot!" they both shooted angrily when they saw me. Dobby ran away crying. **[Everyone seems to run away and cry at some point in this.]** Dey got up, though. Normally I wood have ben turned on (I luv cing guyz do it) **[What the fuck.]** but both of them were fuking preps. (btw snake is movd 2 griffindoor now) **[Why?]**

"WTF is that why u wanted condoms?" I asked sadistically. (c I speld dat) **[Great.]**

"Only you wouldn't give them to me!" Lumpkin **[Lumpkin the Pumpkin.]** shouted angrily.

"Well you shoulda told me." I replayed.

"You dimwit!." Snake began 2 shoot angrily. And then.........I took out my black camera and took a pic of them. U could see that they were naked and everything. **[When, where, and how?]**

"Well xcuse me!" they both shouted angrily. "What was dat al about?"

"It wuz to blackmail u." I snarked. "So now next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you cant fuking rat me out or I'll show dis to Dumbledork. So fuck off, u bastards!" I started to run. They chased me but I threw my wound at them **[How do you throw a wound? Did you pluck it off your skin and just chuck it at 'em screaming? Okay.]** and dey tripped over it. Well anyway, I went outside and there was Vampire, looking extremely fucking hot.

"WTF where'd Draco?" **[I wanna know where'd Draco, too.]** I asked him.

"Oh he's bein a fucking bastard. He told me he wouldn't cum." **[Wrong come. But okay. We don't need that up in here either.]** Vampire said shaking his hed. "U wanna cum with me? **[I don't wanna 'cum' anywhere.]** 2 the concert?"

Then..... he showed me his flying car. I gasped. It was a black car. He said his dogfather **[Dogfather. I can't even. Nor odd. God damnit.]** Serious Blak had given it 2 him. The license plate on the front sed MCR666 on it. The one on da back said 'ENOBY' on it.

..........I gasped. **[It's horrible.]**

We flew to the concert hall. MCR were there, playing.

Vampire and I began 2 make out, moshing to the muzik. I gapsed, looking at da band. **[Cheater.~]**

I almost had an orgasim. **[Gross.]** Gerard was so fucking hot! He begin 2 sing 'Helena' **[I guess Helena is a very popular song and the only song they know, apparently.]** and his sexah beautiful voice began 2 fill the hall. ..........And den, I heard some crrying. I turned and saw Draco, cryin in a corner. **[What. A. Fucking. Pussy.]**

**Chapter 21. _[When will it end..?]_  
**

AN: fuk u ok! u fokng suk. itz nut ma fult if itz speld rong ok koz dat bich ravern cuz it fok u prepz!1 woopz soz raven fangz 4 da help. btw transilvana rox hrad!1 I even gut 2 go 2 da kasel wer drkola was flimed! **[I have no idea what was spoken here. The only thing I understand is Transilvania.]**

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Later we all went in the skull. Draco was crying in da common room. "Draco are u okay?" **[Nope. Why are you asking?]** I asked in a gothic voice.

"No I'm not u fuking bitch!" **[Woah. Calm your balls.]** he shouted angrily. He stated to run out of the place in a suicidal way. **[How do you run out of a room in a suicidal way? Flail and try to jump off of anything you see in sight? K.]** I stated to cry cuz I was afraid he would commit suicide.

"Its ok Enoby." said Vampire comfortly. "Ill make him feel better."

"U mean you'll go fuck him wont you!" **[Shots fired.]** I shouted angrily. Then I ran 2 get Draco. Vampire came too.

"Draco please come!" he began to cry. Tears of blood came down his pail face. I wuz so turned on cuz I love sensitive bi guyz. **[Wow.]** (if ur a homophone den fuk of!) [ **For once I actually agree with whomever the fuck wrote this; if you're a homophone [Homophobic,] then fuck off. Alright. That's a bit mean but. Okay.]**

And then................................ we herd sum footsteps! Vampire got out his blak invincibility coke. **[Coke is invisable now.]**   We both gut **[Gut? Ew?]** under it. We saw the janitor Mr. Norris there, shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand.

"WHOSE THERE!" he shouted angrily. We saw Filth come. He went unda da invisibility cloke and started to meow loudly.

"IS ANY1 THERE!" yelled Mr. Norris.

"No fuck u you preppy little poser sun of a fukcing bich!" Vampire said under his breast **[He moved his head down to his chest, made some boods, lifted them up, stuck his head under there and spoke that.]** in a disgusted way.

"EXCUS ME! EXCUS ME WHO SED DAT!" yelled Mr. Norris. Den he heard Filch meow. "Filth is der any1 unda da cloak!" he asked. Filth nodded. And then............................Vampir frenched me! **[Distraction!]** He did it jus as.......................... Mr. Norris was taking of da cloak!1

"WHAT DA-" he yelled but it was 2 late cuz now we were ruining away frum him. And den we saw Draco crying n bustin in2 tearz and slitting his rists outside of da school. **[Wow.]**

"Draco!" I cried. "R u okay?" **[No; does he look okay?]**

"I guess though." Draco weeped. We went back to our coffins frenching each other. **[Rabbits!]** Draco and I decided to watch Lake Placid (c isnt da deprezzin) on the gothic red bed together. As I wuz about 2 put in the video, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now. There was a knok on the door and Fug and da Mystery of Magic walked into the school!1 **[I'm confused, disturbed, and highly concerned.]**

**Chapter 22. _[Halfway done. Holy-shit-balls.]_  
**

AN: stfu! prepz stup flaming ok if u dnot lik it fuk of I no itz mr. noris itz raven's folt ok!11 u suk!1 no jus kidding raven u fokieng rok prepz suk!1 [ **You suck; discrimination against something called preps is really weird; why are you still writing this? Why am I still reading this? Why is my brain melting and dropping out from my ears?]**

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All day everyone talked about the Misery of Magic. **[Misery of Magic? The Ministry of Magic??]** Well anyway, **[Let's forget about that and focus back onto me~! Geez.]** I woke up the next day. I was in my coffin so I opened the door. I was wearing blak lacey leather pajamas. Then I gasped. **[I had pissed my coffin.]**

Standing in front of me where................... B;loody Mary, Vampire, Diabolo, Draco, Dracula and Willow! **[They wanted to smell yer pissy bed.]**

I opened my crimson eyes. Willow was wearing a tight black leather top with pictures of bloody roses all over it. Under that she wart a black poofy skirt wit lace on it and black gothic boots that was attached to the top. Vampire was wearing a baggy Simple Plan t-shirt and baggy black pants and Vans. Draco was wearing a black MCR t-shirt and blak jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just likee Gerard Way, and almost as fucking sexy. Vampire looked like Joel Madden. B'loody Mary was wearing a tight black poofy gothic dress that she had ripped so it showed of all her clearage with a white apron that said 'bich' and other swear words and MCR lyrics on it kind of like one dress I had seen Amy Lee wear once. Darkness (who is Jenny) was there too. She was weaving a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top thing and black pointy boots. So were Crab and Goyle. **[Holy shit why the fuck is all that needed? Who the hell reads this junky jew?]** It turns out that Darkness, Diabolo, Crab and Goyle's dad was a vampire. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a razor. **[Of, fucking, course.]** He had raped them **[RAPED WHO? EXCUSE YOU.]** and stuff before too. They all got so depressed that they became goffik and converted to Stanism.

"OMFG" I yielded **[Stop yielding.** ] as I jumped up. "Why the fuck are u all here?" **[We're here to smell your pissy bed since you took a leak in it last night.]**

"Enoby something is really fucked up." Draco said. **[Your bed.]**

"OK but I need to put my fucking clothes on first." I shouted angrily.

"It's all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii anyway. Your so fucking beautiful." Draco said in a sexy voice. **[Ew.]**

"Oh all right." I said smiling. "But you have to tell me why your being all erective." **[Erective? Is he errect? Or attractive?]**

"I will I will." he said.

So I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick and red eyeshadow and white foundation. Then I came. We all went outside the Great Hal and looked in from a widow. A fucking prep called Britney from Griffindoor was standing next to us. She was wearing a pink mini and a Hilary Duff t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her. Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledork. **[Dumbledork!? I can't even read! I'm laughing so hard! I guess he's not Dumblydore anymore.]** Cornelia Fudged **[Did this person turn into fudge all of a sudden??]** was there shouting at Dumbledore. Doris Rumbridge was there too.

"THIS CANNOT BE!" she shouted angrily. "THE SCHOOL MUST BE CLOSED!"

"THE BARK LORD **[The Bark Lord! He must be stopped from barking!]** IS PLANNING TO KILL THE STUDENTS!" yelled Cornelia Fudge.

"YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!" yelled Rumbridge. "YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS! YOU MUST RETRY OR VOLDEMORT WILL KILL YOUR STUDENTS!" **[What the fuck is this.]**

"Very well." Dumbledore said angrily. "Butt **[The bootay.]** we cannot do this. We can't close the school. There is only one person who is capable of killing Voldemort and she is in the school. And her name is.............................................................................Enony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way." **[Naaaah! That's Harry Potter!]**

Draco, Crab, Goyle, Darkness, Willow, Vampire and B'loody Mary looked at each other.........I gasped. [Dun dun dun!]

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**Okay. My brain has melted enough. I am done for now. I'll finish the rest tomorrow ehen my brain decides to reform and gain brain cells again. I hope you like this as much as I do. I only like my bold. The rest is a cluster fuck.  
**

**P.S. Sorry if things get private; I can't really do anything about it. I'm not changing anything.**


	4. [ Chapter Twenty-Three Through Twenty-Six ] || With Written Commentary. ||

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brain melting. Eyes exploding. Fingers falling off. Body dying slowly.

**God help me...  
**

 

**Chapter 23.**

AN: dhut da fok up biches!1 ur jus jelos **[Yes, we are made out of jello. We are so jelly.]** koz I gut 10000 reviowz!1 **[You know something? Their all horrible reviews! Woo!]** fangz 2 raven 4 da help n telin me bout da boox gurlu rok letz go shopin 2getha! **[Let's not and say we did.]**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX **[Illuminati.]**

The door opened and Proffesor Rumbridge and Cornelia Fudge stomped out angrily. Then Dumbledum **[Dumbledore. Dumblydore. Dumbledork. Dumbledum. How.]** and Rumbridge sawed us. **[Welcome to SAW, everyone.]**

"MR. WAY WHAT THE BEEP ARE YOU DOING!" **[Beep? Huh?]** Rumbridge shouted angrily. Dumbledore blared at her.

"Oops she made a mistake!" **[Everything written here is a mistake.]** he corrupted her. "She means hi everybody cum in!" **[Cum in where? Your ass? Your eye balls? Your ears?]**

Well we all came in angrily. So did all the other students. I sat between Darkness and Draco and opposite B'loody Mary. Crab and Goyle started 2 make some morbid jokes. They both looked exactly like Ville Vollo. **[Who the fuck is that?]** I eight **[Eight? Ate? Wrong context.~]** some Count Chocula and drank som blood from a cup. **[Of fucking course.]** Then I herd someone shooting angrily. I looked behind me it was.........Vampire! He and Draco were shooting at eachother. **[Shooting? With what? Invisable guns?]**

"Vampire, Draco WTF?" I asked.

"You fucking bustard!" **[Bastard mixed mustard.]** yelled Draco at Vampire. "I want to shit next to her!1" **[Hah! Shit next to her? This isn't the bathroom.]**

"No I do!" shouted. **[I can't even.]**

"No she doesn't fucking like u, you son of a bitch!" yelled Draco. **[Shots fired.]**

"No fuck you motherfucker she laves me not you!" shouted Vampire. And then.................. he jumped on Draco! (no not in dat way u perv) **[And then they fucked all night long.]** They started to fight and beat up each other.

Dumbldore yelled at them but they didn't stop. All of a sudden...... a terrible man with red eyes and no nose **[Such a horrible man with no schnoz and crimson eyes. Oh my god!]** flew in on his broomstick. He had no nose **[That was stated already previously.]** and was wearing a gray robe. All the glass in the window he flew thru fell apart. Britney that fucking prep started to cry. Vampire and Draco stopped fighting....I shopped eating **[You shop eating? Well then.]** ....Everyone gasped. Da room fell silent......................Volzemort! **[-Giggles.-]**

"Eboby **[Sigh.]**.....Ebony......." Darth Valer **[Darth Valer..? Darth Vader? What the fuck? Kkkkkkk... Eboby, I am your Father..! Okay.]** sed evilly in his raspy voice. "Thou havfe failed ur mission. Now I shall kill thou and I shall kill Vampire as well. If thou does not kill him before then I shall kill Draco too!" **[Ooooh. Murder. _-Grabs popcorn.-_ ] **

"Plz don't make me kill him plz!" I begged. _**[Noooooooooooooo.]**_

"No!" **[Hah.]** he laughed crudely. "Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!" Then he flew away cackling.

I bust into tears. **[Boohoo.]** Draco and Vampire came to contort me. **[Contortion. Good way to get into positions to fuck.]** Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and gothic. **[Gross and grosser.]** I had a vision were I saw some lighting flash and then Voldremot coming to kill Draco while Draco slit his wrists in a depressed way. **[Wow, That's a great vision.]**

"No!" I screamed sexily. **[Sexily..? You have way too many Adverbs.]** Suddenly I locked up **[You locked up. Did you have an entire lock jaw other than the jaw it's your entire body? Lock-body?]** and stopped having the vision.

"Ebony Ebony aure you alright?" **[I would be if you know how to spell.]** asked Draco in a worried voice.

"Yeah yeah." I said sadly as I got up.

"Everyfing's **[Everyfing... What the fuck.]** all right Enoby." said Vampire all sensetive.

"No its not!" I shouted angrily. Tearz of blood went down my face. "OMFG what if I'm getting possessed like in Da Ring 2!" **[The fuck. You cray-cray.]**

"Its ok gurl." said B'loody Mary. "Maybe u should ask Proffesor Sinister about what the visions mean though."

"Ok bich." I said sadly and den we went. **[Bich. You're such a bich.]  
**

**\-----------------------------**

**Chapter 24.**

AN: prepz stup flaming da story ur jus jelous so fuk u ok go 2 hel!11 raven fagz 4 di help! **[Oh, yes. We are so jealous of your horrendous writing and horribly created plot-lines. Fagz. _-Shakes head.-_ Introducing, my brain that melts when it has to read shit like this~!] **

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Well we had Deviation next so I got to ask Proffessor Trevolry about the visions.

"Konnichiwa everybody come in." said Proffesor Sinister in Japanese. **[No, it's Chinese. _-Sarcasm.-_ ] **She smelled **[Why.]** at me with her gothic black lipstick. She's da coolest fucking teacher ever. She had long dead black hair with blood red tips and red eyes. (hr mom woz a vampire. She's also haf Japanese so she speaks it and everyfing. she n b'loody mry get along grate) **[This disturbs me greatly. Why must you do this to your former viewers; and why am I doing this?]** She's really young for a teacher. 2day she was wearing a black leather top with red lace and a long goffik black ripped dress. We went inside the black classroom with pastors of Emily the Strong. I raced my hand. **[Did you rip it off and tell it to run away from you and that you'd catch it later? Puns are great.]** I was wearing some black naie Polish with red pentagrams on it.

"What is it Ebony?" she asked. "Hey I love ur nail polish where'd u get it, Hot Topik?" **[Topik. The fuck.]**

"Yeah." I answered. All the preps who didn't know what HT **[HT. 'You wanna go to HT with me later?' 'The fuck is HT?' 'Ah! You're a fucking prep!]** was gave me weird looks. I gave them the middle finger. "Well I have to talk to you about some fings. **[Fings have wings.]** When do you want to due it?" **[Your want is due.]**

"Ho **[Hoe?]** about now?" she asked.

"OK." I said.

"OK class fucking dismissed every1." Proffesor Trevolry **[Travolta?]** said and she let every1 go. "Except for you Britney." she pointed at Britney and sum other preps. "Please do exorcize (geddit) **[No; I don't 'geddit. Shut up.]** 1 on page 3."

"OK I'm having lotz of visions." I said in a worried voice. I'm so worried is Draco gong **[Draco is apparently a gong now. Okay.** ] 2 die.

Well she gave me a black cryptal **[The fuck is a cryptal? _Crystal?]_** ball to lock in. I looked at it.

"What do you c?" **[D.]** she asked.

"I said I see a black gothic skull and a pentagram." **[Illuminati confirmed.]**

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I looked at it. **[The door soon came alive; it grew legs, arms and walked towards me. It wanted to eat my soul like everything else around here.]** It was Draco. **[Fuck.]** He was looking really sexy wearing a black leather facet, **[Facet? Faucet? He wore a faucet?]** a black gothic Linkin Park t-shirt and blak Congress shoes. **[Black Congress? That's racist.]**

"Okay you can go now, see ya cunt." **[Cunt? I do not think professors would resort to using such profanity in such a professional atmosphere.]** said Proffesor Sinister.

"Bye bitch." I said waving. **[Bye cunt.]**

I went to Draco and Vampire was sitting next to him. We both followed Draco together and I was so exhibited. **[Exhibited? You were put on a pedestal and shown around the world? Well then.]  
**

**\--------------------------------------**

**Chapter 25. _[Why does this FanFiction continue?]_  
**

AN: stop flaming ok if u dnot den il tel Justin 2 bet u up!1111 n il tel al da nredz 2 put vrtuz in ur computer!11111111111 FUK UU!1 raven fangz for de help!1 **[I have no idea what this bullshit says; all I see is random gibberish from an alien country that wants to murder us. This kind of bull makes my brain melt so hard. It's already melted. I have no brain. I am running on fumes.]**

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I was so excited. I fellowed **[Fellowed? Why.]** Draco wandering if we where going 2 do it again. We went outside and then we went into Draco's black car.

"Ebony what the fuck did Profesor Trevolry say." **[Professor Travolta said to learn how to spell correctly.]** whispered Draco potting **[How do you potting. Are you higher than high?]** his gothic whit hand with bvlak nail polish on mine.

"She said she would tell me what the visions meant torromow." I grumbled in a sexy voice. **[That's kind of gross, to be honest.]** He took out a heroin cabaret and spiked it, **[You spiked the cabanet with heroine?]** and gave it to me to spork. **[Sp00n.]** He started to fly the car into a tree. **[We're gonna crash!]** We went to the top of it. Draco put on some MCR. **[Great.]**

"And all the things that you never ever told me  
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me." **[Why does this song sound familiar..?]** sang Gerard's sexy voice. We started tiling of each other's cloves fevently. **[What the fuck is this sentence.]** He took of my blak thong and my black leather bar. **[Leather Bra? Thong? What the fuck?]** I took of his black boxers. Then........................... he put his trobbing you-know-what in my tool sexily. **[OKAY. Okay. What the fuck is this. 'He put his [Throbbing] you know what in my tool sexily.' What the holy Gods of holy Hell and Jesus and the Devil and Illuminati bull is this sentence. I died. Right here. Right now. I can't even.]**

"OMFG Draco Draco!" **[Dead. So fucking dead.]** I screamed having an orgism. **[Oh god. No. You fuck like rabbits. RABBITS I TELL YOU WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THE DO.]** We stated frenching passively. Suddenly............ I fell asleep. **[Suddenly, you died.]** I started having a dream. In it a black guy was shooting two goffik men with long black hair. **[The fuck?]**

"No! Please don't fucking kill us!1" they pleaded but he just kept shooting them. He ran away in a red car. **[Confused like no other.~]**

"No! Oh my fucking god!11" I shouted in a scared voice. **[Scary.]**

"Ebony what's wrong?" Draco asked me as I woke up opening my icy blue eyes. **[I met a terrible fate, haven't I?]**

I started to cry and tears of blood went down my face. **[Tears of bullshit went down my face.]** I told Draco to call Vampire. He did it with his blak Likin Park mobile. **[Likin Park Mobile..? Linkin Park doesn't have a mobile service plan. But okay.]** Butt **[The bootay.]** the worst thing was who the ppl who were shot in the dream where........................... Lucian and Serious!111 **[Dun dun dun.]**

**Chapter 26.**

AN: PREPZ STUP FLAMING SDA STRY OK!1 if u dnot lik da story den go fok urself u fokeng prep! U SUK!111 oh y and I wuznt beng rasist ok!11 **[That's racist.]**

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A few mutates later Vampire came 2 da tree. **[What tree? The tree that sprouted from your ass?]** He was wearing a blak leather jackson, black leather pants and a Good Chralotte t-shirt. **[Sigh.]**

"Hi Vampire." I said flirtily **[Gross.]** as I started to sob. **[Double gross.]** Draco hugged me sexily **[Adverbs used too much.]**   tryont **[Tryont? Tyrant? Excuse you?]** to comfrot me. I started to cry tears of blood and then told them what happened. **[What the fuck is up with the crying of blood? Better get that shit checked out.]**

"Oh fuck it!" Vampire shouted angrily. He4 started to cry sadly. **[Stop. Crying. Like. Fucking. Pussies.~]** "What fucking dick did that!" **[My dick.]**

"I don't know." I said. "Now come on we have 2 tell Dumbledor." **[The spelling of Dumbledore gets worse and worse.]**

We ran out of the tree and in2 da castle. Dumblydor **[As I said.]** was sitting in his office.

"Sire are dads have been shot!" **[What the fuck.]** Draco said while we wipped sum tears from his white face. "Enoby had a vision in a dreem." **[This entire little few sentence paragraph is nothing but bullshit.]**

Dubleodre **[The fuck is this.]** started to cockle. **[Cockle..!?]** "Hahahaha! And How due u aspect me to know Ebony's not divisional?" **[........]**

I glared at Dumbledore. **[Oh.]**

"Look motherfucker." he said angrily as Dumbeldore gasped (c is da toot **[Toot? Fart?]** of crakter). **[Cracker?]** "U know very well that I'm not decisional. Now get some fucking ppl out there to look for Series and Lucian- pornto!" **[Pornto? Porn to. Pronto.]**

"Okay." he said in a intimated voice. "Were are they?"

I fought about it. Then all of a sudden..... "Longdon." **[Longdon! That doesn't exist!]** I said. I told him which street. He went and called some people and did some stuff. After a few mistunes **[Wh..?]** he came back and said people were going out looking for them. After a while someone called him again. He said that they had been found. Draco, Vampire and I all left to our rooms together. I went with Draco to wait in the nurses office while Vampire went to slit his wrists in his room. **[This sentence would have been okay if the slitting of the wrists wasn't there. Good job at fucking it up.]** We looked at each other's gothic, derperessed eyes. **[Ugh. Back to bullshit.]** Then, we kissed. **[Rabbits!]** Suddenly Serious and Lucian came in on stretchers............................and Proffesor Sinister was behind them1 **[Wow. What a horrible ending to this chapter. More to come, sadly. My brain died while I was doing this.]**

 


	5. [ Chapter Twenty-Seven Through Thirty-Three ] || With Written Commentary ||

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you didn't know how I update so fast, it's because I also have this on Wattpad under the same name. I'm ruining Wattpad like I'm ruining Archive of our Own. I am so sorry.

**Again, God help me; getting closer and closer to the end. Thank god; I dunno how much more my brain can take.**

 

\------------------------

**Chapter 27. vampirz wil never hurt u _[What the fuck.]_  
**

AN: u no wut!111 I dnot giv a fok wut u prepz fink abot me!1111 **[Then why are you writing this book?]** so stup flaming da foking story bichez!1111 **[Calling your so called fans bitches isn't nice, Tara; did I mention the original writers name was Tara? I can't spell her last name but. Yep. She fell off the face of the Earth; she's probably disappointed with this fanfic and decided to never come back.]** fangz 2 raven 4 ur luv n sport **[Sport?]** n help i luv u gurl soz i kodnt update lol I wuz rly deprezzd n I silt muh rists I had 2 go 2 da hospital [ **You don't need to go to the hospital for slitting your wrists; the only time you go is if you hit a major vein in your arm and you begin to bleed out. A single few slits will just make the skin clot and turn into scabs rather quickly. How do I know this? Because I've done this before. Nice try on the guilt tripping.]** rraven u rok gurl!11111111111111111111

XXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX **[The Devil isn't centered.]**

Every1 in the room stated to cry happly- I had saved them. **[Why the holy balls would they cry happily? Why not smile? Laugh? Walk away?]** Drako, Lucian, Serious bond Vampire all came to hug me. The nurse started to give them medicine.

"Cum on Enoby." **[Cum. No.]** said Proffesor Sinatra. **[Sinatra? ...Senorita..?]** She was wearing a gothic blak leader dress **[Dresses don't lead.]** with a corset top and real vampir blood on it and fuking black platinum boots. **[How the bloody tits do you get real Vampire blood? They're not real; oh wait. In Tara's mind their real. Fuck.]** "I have to tell you the fucking perdition." **[What is that word?]**

I locked at Lucian, Serifs, **[???]** Drake and Vampire. They nodded.

I smelled happily **[Smelled happily? Your nose doesn't have emotions.]** and went into a dark room. I had changed Profesor Sinister took out some black cards. She started to look into a black crucible **[Crystal.]** ball. She said........................... **[She said too many fucking dots for one paragraph.]** "Tara, **[I thought her name was Ebony?]** I see drak **[Dank Memes.]** times are near." She said badly. **[Badly..? Tara, you don't need to add an 'ly' after the end of every little thing. Too many adverbs for one shitty book.]** She peered into da balls. **[Man ballz.]** "You see, you must go back in time." She took out a Time-Toner **[Time-Tuner.]** like B'loody Mary had. "When Voldemint **[He's now minty fresh!]** was in Hogwarts before he became powerful he gut his hearth borken. Now do you fink he would still become Volxemort if he was in love?" I shook my head. "U must go back in time and sedouce him. It is the only way. If he is still evil then you must kill him. You can come to my room tomorrow and you can do it." **[All of this interaction between whoever the fuck this is and EBONY, is really, really disgusting.]**

"Okay." I said sadly. We did dethz tuch sin. I went outside again sadly.

"What fucking happened?" asked Draco and Vampire.

"Yeah what happened?" asked Darkness, Willow and Boldy Mary? **[Boldy? Bald?]**

I was about to tell them butt every1 was there. They were celebrating Lucian and Sirius being fond. Everyone was proud of me butt **[Ass.]** I jut wonted 2 talk 2 Draco. They were cheesing **[Cheesing? Laughing.]** my name and some reporters were there, trying to interview Dumblydore. **[At least it's not Dumbledork or Dumbledum.]** A banner was put up. Lotz of fucking prepz were there oviously tring 2 be b goffik wering the HIM sign on their handz- depite them not having akshelly **[...Actually..]** heard of him. Even Mr. Noris looked happy. A blak and red cake had been brought out. Crabbe and Goyke **[Murder me please.]** set up some fireworx in the shape of skulls from Wesley's Whizard Wises.

I put on my Invisibility coke with Vampire and Draco and we sneaked outside 2gether. **[To go have a threesome and screw like rabbits.]**

**Chapter 28.**

AN: I sed stop gflmaing da story it wuz a miskat wen profsor relory sed dat ok!11111111 GO 2 FOKENG HELL!1111 U SUK! fangz 2 fily 4 da help!1! raven hav fun wif kiwi!1111111 **[My brain doesn't exist anymore; it's now a melted ball of a mush in my skull.]**

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We went in2 a blak room. The wallz were blak with portraits of gothic bands lik MCR, GC and Marlin Mason all over them. A big black coffin was in the middle. Red vevlet lined da blak box. There were three chairs made of bones with real skullz in dem. I wuz wearing a blak corset bar **[How does one wear a bar?]** wif purple stuff on it, **[Stuff.]** fishnet suckings **[Leeches.]** and a blak leather thong underneath. **[No shit; no wait; you stuck your underwear OVER your clothes! _-Shakes head.-_ ] **

I sat down one of da chairs dispersedly. **[...Disappointingly..? Depressingly..?]** So did Drako and Vampire.

"Are you okay?" Vampir asked potting his albastard **[El bastardo!]** hand on mine. He was wearing black nail polish. I was wearing blak nail polish with red crosses on it. **[Why would a vampire wear crosses? Learn your history of Vampires.]**

"Yah I guess." I said sadly. Drako also pot his hand on mine sexily. **[How the tits do you do that?]** I smiled sadly **[Uuuuuuuuughhhhhh!!]** with my blak lipstick. **[-Shoots self in every body part known to man.]** "The problem is............................I have to seduce Volxemort. Ill have 2 go bak in time"

Draco started to cry sadly. Vampire hugged him. **[Gross and double fucking gross.]**

"Itz okay Eboby." he said finally. "But what about me? Ur not gonna brake up or anyfing, are you?"

"Of coarse not!" I gasped.

"Really?" he asked.

"Sure." I said.

We frenched sexily. Vampire looked at us longingly. **[-Dies-]**

Then............ I took off Draco's MCR shrift and seductvely took of his pants. He was hung lik a stallone. **[OH MY GOD. I CAN'T EVEN. THAT'S PROBABLY THE WORST AND BEST DESCRIPTION I'VE READ FROM THIS BITCH. He was hung like a stallion. Oh my fucking god.]** He had replaced the Vampire tattoo that said Enoby on it. Black roses were around it. I gasped. He lookd exactly lik Gerard Way. **[Why is Gerald Way such an obsession.]** Vampire took a vido camera. (I had sed it wuz ok b4). **[Oh my god. And I guess he went to the store all of a sudden, took a camera, and decided to come back.]**

I took of my clothes den we were in 4 da rid of r lif. **[That lasts only ten seconds; if that.]**

We started freching as we climbed into the cofin. He put his spock in my you-know-what and passively we did it. **[Why was Spock there? And why did he go into your vagina? You need a lesson in sex. Let me teach you right quick. Dick goes into pussy; thrust thrust thrust which lasts longer than ten seconds, cums, and smokes a cigarette. That is how you sex; or that's how this bitch sees it but it lasts only five seconds. Fucking rabbits.]**

"I love you Eboby. Oh let me feel u I need 2 feel u." **[Eugh...]** he screamed as we got an orgasm. We watched Vampire filmed everything perfectly. Suddenly...............................

"WHAT THE FUCK R U DOING!" **[Their fucking like rabbits.]**

It was...............................Snope **[Snope? Snoop Doggy Dog?]** and Profesor McGoggle!111 **[I've seen this misspelled throughout this entire hunk of shit. This is the correct spelling. Professor McGonagall.]**

**Chapter 29.**

AN: sot das fok up!11 ur jus jelouz koz ur prepz so fok u!1111 **[No we're jealous because we can write better fan-fictions than this trash; I hope now that you're in your early twenties that you look back at this and wonder what the fuck you were doing with your life.]** raven u rok gurl fangz 4 da help MCR ROX 666!111111111111

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"Oh my satan!1" **[The Devil isn't here right now. Please leave a message after the demonic beep. _-Beeeeeeeeeep.-_ ] **we screamed as we jamped out of da coffin. Snap and Professor McGoonagle **[What the fuck is this name?]** started to shoot at us angrily. **[With guns?]**

"CUM NOW!1!" **[Ew. No.]** Preacher McGongel yielded. **[Preacher? She's a preacher now? And why is she yielding? Is she a human car?]** We did guiltily. **[Adverbs. No. Stop. That isn't even a fucking word! It might be since it's not underlined but I've never seen that word in my life.]** We left the room putting on our clothes. Snoop **[Snape is a snoop.]** garbed the caramel and put it in his pocket.

"Hey what the fuck!111" Vampire shooted angrily. **[Sigh.]**

"Yeah buster what the fuck are u going to do with the fucking camera?" Draco demonded all protective, looking at me Longley **[Longly? The fuck?]** with his gothic red eyes. "Look, Dumblehor **[Dumblewhore? What?]** noes your little secret and if u do dis again, then u will go to St Mango's. So give back da camera!1111"

Hahahaha the Mystery of Mogic **[The Ministry of Magic is reverted to the Mystery of Moooooooooooooooooooogic.]** **\-- [ It's ran by cows.]** thinks he is crazy there is no way dey wil believe him. Snoop laughed meanly. **[Snoop Doggy Dog times two?]**

"Yes so shut your mputh you inlosent fools!" yelled Proffesor McGoggle. **[This entire sentence is a cluster fuck.]** She made us cum into a weird room **[Poor assholes.]** with white stones all around it. There were all these werid tools in it. Draco started to cry all sexy and sexitive (geddit koz hes a sexbom lol tom felnot rulez 4 lif but nut as muxh as gerard ur sex on legz I luv u u fokeng rok mary me!111). **[Ew. Oh my fucking god you suck tit balls.]**

I started to cry tearz of blood (it hapnz in vrampir kroniklz raven sed so ok so fok u!1). **[Screw you and your Raven friend.]** Vampire took out a black honkerchief and started to wipe my red eyes. **[Excuse?]**

And then.................... he and Snoop both took out guns using magic. **[How and why?]** They started to shoot each other angrily. Non of the ballots gut on eachodder yet. I took out my wand.

"Crosio!" **[Curcio.]** I shouted. Snap stated 2 scram he dropd da gun. But it was too late. Both of them had run out of ballets. I STOPPED DA CURSE. Profesor McGoogle **[She is now Google?]** did a spell so that we were all chained up. She took out a box of tools. Den she said "OK Serverus I'm going 2 go now." She left. Snap started to laugh evilly. Vampire started to cry.

"It's ok Enoby." said Draco. "Evergreen will be all right. Remember the cideo u took of Snake." **[Cideo?]**

Snape laughed again. And then...he took out some whips!1!1111 **[Is this shit gonna get kinky? That's grotty.]**

**Chapter 30. _[Help.]_  
**

AN: stop flaming da story ok u dnot no wutz even gona happen ok!1111 so FUL U!111 if u flam u wil be a prep so al flamerz kan kiss muh ass!111 [ **I don't think anyone wants to kiss your ass; who knows where that shit sat at. Pun intended.]** soz 4 soz 4 sayin alzhimers is dongerous but datz da mysteries opinin koz sosiety basically sux. fangz 2 raven u rok bich!111 **[Are you speaking of Alzheimer's..? And Dongerious..? Dangerous.. I do not think people speak dangerous with _'dong'_ in the front.]**

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"No!11" we screamed sadly. Snap stated loafing meanly. **[He turned into meatloaf.]** He took out a kamera anvilly. Then........................ he came tords Darko!1! He took sum stones out of his poket. He put da stones around Draco and nit a candle. **[How does one knit a candle?]**

"What the fuck r u doing!" I shooted arngrily. Snoop laughed meanly. He polled down his pants. I gasped- there was a Dork Mark **[Gasp! Are you speaking of Markiplier? He's not a dork. Well, he is but. Different Fandom.~]** on his you-know-wut!11!

He waved his wand and a nife came. He gave da knife 2 me.

"U must stab Vrompire." he said to me. "If u don't then I'll rap Draco!1" **[You wanna have a rap session with Draco. Drop the beat!]**

"No you fucking bastrad!1" I yielded. **[Stop yielding!]**

But den Draco looked at me sadly with his evil goffik red eyes dat looked so depressant and sexy. **[Sexy yet depressed. How does that work?]** He lookd exactly like a pentragram (lol geddit koz im a satanist) **[Get it? Because no one fucking gets it, Tara. No one understands you fucking mumbo jumbo sadistic, Gothic ways; you don't even do the way of the Goths right. I bet even the Gothic society is offended.]** between Kurt Cobain and Gerard. _**[-Shakes head.-]**_ But then I looked at Vampire and he looked so smexy too wif his goffik black hair. **[Murder.]** I thought of da time when we screwed and the time I did it with Draco and Dumblydore **[Dumblydore decided to come back into the frame and cause some chaos. Some Chilled Chaos. Sorry. YouTube jokes aside.]** came and the tame where Draco almost commited suicide and Vampire wuz so sportive. **[Sigh.]**

Snipe **[Snape is now a sniper gunner.]** laughed angrily. He started to prey to Volxemort. **[Voldemort isn't a God of any sort.]** He started to do an incapacitation **[...Incantation..? Competition..? What the fuck?]** dancing around the stokes whipping Draco and Vampire. Suddenly an idea I had. I clozd my eyes and using my vampire powers I sent a telepathetic massage to Drako and Vampire so they would destruct Snape. **[I don't think vampires have the way of telepathic powers.]**

"Dumbeldork **[And now Dumbeldork shoves Dumblydore out of the way so he can have his time in the light.]** will get u!" Draco shooted.

"Yah just wait ubtil da Mystery find out!11" Vampire yelled. Meanwhile I took out my wand.

"You ridiculus dondderhed!111" Snoop yielded. He took off all of Drico's clothes. **[What the fuck!?]** Just as he was about to rape him......................... **[Rape isn't a joke, you fuck. Especially in this context. Since this book is the mere meaning of offensive behavior, stop.]**

"Crosio!" I shited pointing my wound. **[So... From this I guess you stuck your wand up yer ass and shit it out as you spat the Curcio spell? Well o-fucking-kay.]** Snoop scremed and started running around da room screming. Meanwhile I grabed my blak mobile and sent a txt 2 Serious. I stopped doing crucio.

"You dunderhed!111 Im going to kill-" shooted Snape but suddenly Serverus came.

Snake put the whip behind his bak. "Oh hello Sev I wuz just teaching them sumthing." he lied. But suddenly Lusian and Profesor Trevolry came in2 da room and they and Serious unlocked the chains and put dem around Snap. Then Profesor Trevolry said 'Come on Ebony let's go." **[This entire almost three lines of text disturbs me greatly.]**

**Chapter 31.**

AN: I sed shut da fok up u quiephs!111 stop kalin ebony a mary su **[I guess you don't understand the concept of a Mary Sue. A Mary Sue [Otherwise known as Mary Jane in the television world.] is what Ebony is; a Mary Sue in FanFiction terms is where you place either yourself, or a character of your creation that does not belong in that fandom. No matter if they have a name or not, it's still considered a Mary Sue.]** ok u dnot even no wutz gong 2 happen ok so fuk u!1111 fangz 2 muh bff raven 4 di help!1111 **[She hasn't done shit.]**

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"I always knew u were on Voldemort's **[Oh my fucking god. You spelt his name right! You want a cookie, lady?]** side, you sun of a bitca (bufy rox!111)." **[Oh for the love of all that is Holy.]** Serious said 2 Snape.

"No I'm not I was teaching them somefing!1" Snap clamed. **[Snape is now a clam.]**

"Oh fucking yeah?" I took some blak Volremortserum **[What the holy shit is this?]** out of my poket and gave it to Serverus. He made Snap dirnk it. He did arngrily. Then Luscious took out a tape recorder and started playing it while he did curses on Snap. Then Proffesor Sinister and Lucian made us get out wif them while Snape told his secretes. Lucian took Vampure and Draco to the nurse after thanking me a millon times. Profesor Trevolry took me to a dark room. Now I wuz going to go back in time to sedouce Volxemort. Moving posters of MCR and Nrivana were all over. Hermoine, Darkness and Willow came too. B'loody Mary gave me a blak bag from Tom Rid's store. [ **I'm just gonna say, this entire paragraph on my Wattpad writer has a shit ton of red underlines; I'm not gonna speak of anything of this. This entire thing isn't wroth my rabbit jokes, puns, or bitching.]**

"Whatz in da bag?" I asked Profesor Trevolry.

"U will c." **[It's the letter D.]** she said. I opened thee bag. In it was a sexy tite low-smut **[Low-smut? If you want smut, talk to the smut queen. Right here. -Points to self; stupid smile.- Ugh.]** black leather gothic dress. It had red korset stuff and there was a silt up da leg. I put it on. My frendz helped me put on blak fishnetz and blak pointy boots Willow had chosen. Willow and Darkness helped me put on black eyeliner and blod-red lipshtick. **[More... Descriptions..!]**

"You look fucking kawaii, bitch." B'loody Mary said. **[Please stop saying Kawaii; someone such as yourself should have the audacity to even use my language.]**

"Fangs." I said.

"Ok now you're going to go back in tim." said Proffesor Sinister. "U will have to do it in a few sessionz." She gave me a blak gun. I put it in a strap on my fishnetz like in Redisnet Evill. **[...Please for the love of God, don't reference Resident Evil.. Or Alice. I like Resident Evil; please don't ruin it for me you little bitch.]** Then she gave me a black time-tuner. "After an hour use da time torner to go back here." Proffesor Trevolry said. Then she and B'loody Mary put a Pensive in front of me. Every1 went in front of it.

"Good luk!1" Everryone shooted. Darkess and Willow gave me deth's touch sin. Then........... I jumped sexily in2 da Pensive. **[HOW DO YOU JUMP SEXILY INTO ANYTHING?!]**

Suddenly I was in fornt of teh School. In front of me wuz one of da sexiest goth guyz I had ever seen. He was wering long blak hair, kinda like Mikey Way only black. He had gren eyes like Billie Joe Amstrung and pale whit skin. He wuz wearing a blak ripped up suit wif Vans. It was.........................Tom Bombodil!1111 **[................................... -Eye twitch.- ........ Baka..]**

**Chapter 32.**

AN: I sed stup fflaming I no his nam iznt tom bodil **[Bodil? The Bulgarian MineCrafter? Why must you do this?]** dat wuz a mistak!1111 if u dnot lik de story den u kan go skrew urself!11111 U SUK!111111 **[No, sweetie, you're the one who sucks. You suck eggs.]**

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"Hi." I said flirtily. **[Stop.]** "Im Enoby Way da new student." I shok my pale handz wif their blak noil polish wif him.

"Da name's Tom." **[Riddle?]** he said. "But u kan call me Satan. **[WHAT?!]** Datz ma middle nam" [ _ **HIGH PITCHED WHAT?!?]**_

We shok hands. "Well come on we have 2 go upstairs." Satan said. I followed him. "Hey Satan........do u happen to be a fan of Gren Day?" **[...Oh.. My... Fucking... Gawd!]** (sinz mcr and evinezenz dont exist yet den) I asked. **[Who the fuck cares..!? I wished this fanfic would have been copyrighted back in the day.]**

"Oh my fuking god, how did u know?" Satan gasped. "actually I like gc a lot too."(geddit coz gc did that song I just wanna live that's ounded really 80s) **[Waahhhh..! I'm fucking dying over here..!]**

"omg me too!" I replied happily.

"guess what they have a concert in hogsment." satan whispered.

"hogsment?" **[I'd question what a Hogsment is too.]** I asked.

"yeah that's what they used to call it in these time before it became Hogsmeade in 2000." he told me all sekrtivly. "and theres a really cool shop called Hot-"

'topic!" I finshed, happy again. **[Fuck this book. Fuck this bull.]**

He froned confusedly. "noo its called Hot Ishoo." **[....? Really? Ew? Sounds like Hot Igloo.]** He smiled skrtvli again. "then in 1998 dey changd it to hot topic." he moaned. **[Moaned? Is he turned on by talking about the non-existent Hot Topic?]**

"ohh." now everything was making sense for me. "so is dumblydor your princepill?" **[Oh.. my. Dumblydore is a prince that got turned into a pill! Don't swallow him!]** I shouted.

"uh-huh." he looked at his black nails. "im in slitherin'"

"OMfG SHME TOO!" I SHRIEDKED. **[Ew.]**

"u go to this skull?"(geddit cos im goffik) **[Get it 'cause you're a horrible person.]** he asked.

"yah that's why im here im NEW." I SMELLED HAPPili. **[Really..? You don't know how to spell happily?]**

Suddenly dumblydore flew in on his broomstuck and started shredding at us angrily. "NO TALKING IN THE HALLS!" he had short blonde hair and was wearing a polo shirt from Amrikan ogle outfters. "STUPID GOFFS!" **[I give up. This paragraph has nothing bull utter bullshit in it. My brain has now exploded. Oh look, it's now on the floor running away from this book. Take me with you!]**

satan rolled his eyes. "his so mean to us goffs and punks just becose we're in slytherine and we're not preps."

I turned around angrily. "actually I fink mebe its becos ur da barke lord."

"wtf?" he asked angrily.

"oh nuffin." I said sweetly.

then suddenlyn................... the floor opened. "OMFG NO I SCEAMED AS I FEEL DOWN. everyone looked At ME weirdly."

"hey where r u goin?" satan asked as I fell.

I got out of the hole n it was bak in the pensive in professor trevolry's classroom. dumblydum **[God damnit.]** wuz dere. "dumblydore **[Stop with the name changes!]** I think I just met u." I said.

"oh yeah I rememba that." dumblydor **[What did I j _ust say?_ ] **said, trying to be all goffik.

sinister came in. "hey dis is my classroom wait wtf enoby what da hell r u doing?"

:"um." I looked at her.

"oh yeaH I forgot bout that."

"wth how?" I screamed forgetting she was a teacher for a second. but shes a goff so its ok.

professor sinster looked sad. "um I was drinking voldemortserum." **[Again, what the fuck is this.]** she started to cry black tears of depression. **[And now people cry the color black. It's as dark and as deep as my soul. It's so deep. So dark. So stupid.]** dumblydum **[Shit.]** didn't know about them.

"hey r u crying tears of blood?" he asked curiously, tuching a tear.

"fuck off!" we both said and dumblydum took his hand away.

professor sinster started crying again in her chair, sobbing limpid tears. **[What the fuck does limpid even mean? I've never heard that word before in my life spoken in any context of words or writen this way.]** "omfg enoby...I think im addicted to Voldemortserum." **[No.]**

AN: SEE U FOKKING PREPZ GO FOK URSELXXZ DATZ SERUS ISSUZ 2O GO 2 HELL!1111112 [You go to hell. Oh wait, you've already been there. Is it as deep and dark as your supposedly dark and danky soul? Probably not. They probably kicked you out because of your horrifically horrid grammar.] 

**Chapter 33.**

AN: I sed shut up itz nut my folt ok if u don't lik da story den ur a prep so fuk u flamerz!1111 ps im nut updating ubtil u giv me fiv god reviewz nd diz tim I men it!111111 **[I guess you got them reviews. I still have to do ten more chapters of this shit.]** U SUK!1111 fangz raven 4 di help il promiz to help u wif ur story lolz1 **[No!]**

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"Oh my fuking god!1" I shooted sadly. "Shud we get u 2 St Manga's, **[If there was a place called St. Manga's, I'd be there.]** bitch?"

"Hel no!" she said. "Lizzen Egogy, **[Ego? Egoraptor? Why.]** I need ur help. Nex tim u go bak in tim, do u fink u kod ask Tom Andorson 4 sum help?"

"Sure I said sadly. I went outside the door. Draco was there!111 He wuz wearing a big blak GC tshit which wuz his panamas.

"Hey Sexxy." I said. **[Please don't add an extra _X_ in _sexy_.] **

"How'd it go Enoby?" he asked in his voice was so sexy and low kinda like Gerard Way when hes talking. **[-Dies of horrible bull.]**

"Fine." I reponded. We stared 2 go bak in2 da dorm.

"How far did u go wif Satan?" Drako asked jealously.

"Not 2 far, lol." I borked. [ **Borked? Wat? At least they didn't go into rabbit form.]**

"Will you hav to do it with him?" Draco asked angstily.

"I hop not 2 far!111" I shouted angrily. Den I felt bad 4 shooting at him. I said sorry. We frenched. **[Rabbits!]**

"What happened 2 Snipe?" **[He got sniped!]** I growled.

"U will see." Draco giggled mistressly. **[...Mischeviously..?]** He opened a door...............Snap nd Lumpkin **[The pumpkin.]** werz there!11 Serious waz pokering dem by staging dem wif a blak nife.

"NOOOO PLZ!1111" Lumpkin bagged as Serious started 2 suk his blood. I laffed statistically. **[Sadistically.]** I tok some photons of him and Snap bing torqued. (ok I no dis iz men but fink abot it ppl dey r pedoz nd Snap trid 2 rap dem and neway sadiztz rok haz any1 seen shrak atak 3 lolz). **[What the fuck did all that say? Please repeat that in normal, human launague.]** We took sum of Snipe's blod den Drako and I went bak 2 our roomz. We sat on my goffik blak coffin. My cloves were kinda drity so I pot on a blak leather outfit fingie **[Fingie? Laughing.]** kinda like da 1 Suelene haz in Undreworld. **[Please don't reference Selene or Underworld either; you already did it with Alice and Resident Evil. No. Stop.]** (if u haven't herd of it den FUK U!111) . **[Fuck you too, dip-shit.]** I put on some blak platform high heelz. Darko put on 'desolition liverz' by MCR. Den.................................................we storted 2 take of eachotherz clozez. I tok of his shit nd he had a six-pak, lolz. **[His asshole produces shit that has a six pack. That shit will become famous and be on magazines everywhere!]** We started 2 mak out lik in Da Grudge. **[The fuck?]**   He pot his wetnes in my u-know-what sexily. **[Ew? He put his wetness [ _Which he probably was already on the verge of cumming,]_ in my you-know-what sexily. That is some ol' bullshit.] ** I gut an orgy. **[So, you had more than Draco in your room to have an orgy?]**

"Oh Draco!111111!1 Oh mi fuking gud Draco!1111" **[Oh, Draco! Fuck me like a rabbit, Draco!]** I screemed passively as he got an eructation. **[...He got an errection as he fucked you..? I thought men are supposed to be hard and have an errection not soft and fucking. You must not be able to get it up then for 'em!]**

"I luv u TaEbory." he whispred sexily and den we fel aspleep lol. **[TeEbory? I'm dead; I shall continue the final chapters tomorrow. I hope you guys are enjoying someone who has very heavy pet peeves as this fanfic and can actually write gramaically right [Even though I don't see my mistakes until I re-read later.] suffer from this. You're welcome.]**


	6. [ Chapter Thirty-Four Through Forty ] || With Written Commentary. ||

**Finally! It's gonna be done after this..! But... I have another one I'm gonna be doing that's almost seventy chapters... But it's gonna be on Archive of our Own; My Immortal is the best yet worse known so thought I'd stick it here while the rest goes on AO3.  
**

**Finally ;~; -Dies.- Let the finals of My Immortal begin and finish.  
**

 

**Chapter 34. _[God, please let me get through these last ten chapters of horror.]_  
**

AN: SHOT DA FOK UP PREPZ!1111 hav u even red de story!11 u r proly al just prepz nd posrs so FUK U!111 fangz 2 raven 4 da help!1 **[Sorry to say, you're the prep and poser.]**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXX **[Illuminati times five million.]**

I wook up in da coffin de next day. Draco waz gone. **[I wonder why he left.]** I got up and put on a blak tight sexah drsss that was all ripped at da end. **[Fringe?]** There wuz red korset stuff going up da fornt and da bak and it came up 2 my knees. **[What the fuck?]** There wuz a slit in da dress lik in mr & mr simth. **[Why do you make such horrible refrences..?]** I pot **[Here we go with the pot again.]** on ripped blak fishnets and blak stilton bo-ots. [ **Bo-ots..? The holy shit?]** Suddenly...................... Sorious cocked on da door. **[He stuck his cock on the door.]** I hopened it. **[He hoped it would open the door.]**

"Hi Ibony." **_[Ibony..?_ Oh for the love for that all that is holy!] ** he said. "Gezz wut u have 2 cum 2 Profesor Sinistor's office."

"Ok." I said in a deprezzd voice. **[Deprezzd. D e p r e s s e d.]** I had wanted to fuk Draco **[What the fuck?]** or maybe lessen to MCR or Evonezcence. **[..........]** I came anyway.

"So what the fuck happened 2 Snipe and Loopin?" **[They got drunk and sniped.]** I asked Sorious flirtily.

"I fucking tortured them." he answered in a statistic way. "They r in Abkhazian [...Azkaban? ] now, lol."

I laughed evilly.

"Where r Draco and Vampira?" I muttered.

"Dey are xcused form skool 2day." Sodomize moaned sexily. **[That's disgusting.]** "Rite now they are watching Da Nigtmare b4 Xmas."

We went into da office. Proffesor Sinister was there. **[So, the dude from the movie Sinister was there? Oh. He steals kids.]** She was wearing a goffik blak dress that was all ripped all over it kinda lik da one Amy Lee wears in this pic **[Sigh.]**

( http/ **[Http/. That's a great link.]** She wuz drinking some Volximortserum.

She took out da Pensiv **[Penis?]** and the time-torner.

"Enoby, you will have to do anozzer session now. Also I need u to get me da cure 4 being adikited." **[The fuck is that?]** she said sadly. "Good luck. Fangz!"

And then..........I jumped into the Prinsive again. Suddenly I looked around...............I was in da Grate Hall eating Count Chorcula. It was mourning. **[The cereal was mourning?]** I was sitting next to Satan. On a table was a tall gottik man wif long blak hair, pail skin and blue eyes wering a suit and blak Cronvrese shoes. He looked just like Charlyn Manson. **[....Charlyn..?]** I noticed......he was drinking a portent. **[A Portent..? A potion? A poet? A poem? What?]**

"Whose he!11" I asked.

"Oh, datz Profesor Slutborn." **[Slutborn? I can't even!]** Satan said. "He's da Portents teacher..............Ebony?"

"Yah?" I asked.

"Did u know dat Marylin Mason is playing in Hogsemade tonight? And they r showing The Exercise at da movies b4 dat." **[The Exorcist turned into the exorcise.]**

"Yah?"

"Well......want 2 go 2 da contort and da movie wif me?"

**Chapter 35. gost of u _[You're a fucking ghost.]_  
**

AN: fangz 2 suzi 4 da idea!1 u rok! fuk of prepz!11111111 fangz 2 raven 4 di help u rok gurl!1 ps im gong 2 end da stroy rlly sun so FUK U!111 **[Oh finally. This horrific train-wreck is gonna be ending! Thank the lawrd!]** oh yah nd if u no eny gofik namz plz tel me koz I ned 1 4 serius!1 fangz. **[...Gothic names..? There's such name as Gothic names..? The fuck?]**

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I went in2 da Conmen Room finking of Satan. **[What sort of Satan?]** Suddenly I gasped....................Draco wuz there!111 **[Great news.]**

I grasped. He locked as hut as eva werring blak ledder pants, a blak Lonken Prak t-shrit and blak eyeliner. **[Dead. So dead. So disgusting.]**

"Draco what da fuk r u dong!111111" I gosped.

"Huh?" he asked. Then I remembred. It wuzn't Draco. It was Lucan!1 He stil had two arms. **[So, he has more than two arms?]**

"Oh hi Lucian!1" I sed. "Im Ebony the new student lol **[Who the tits says 'lol' in the middle of a sentence? Oh, Tara.]** we shook handz."

"Yah Satan told me abot you." Lusian said. He pinted to a groop of sexxxy **[Sexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxy. No.]** gottik guyz. They where siting in a corner kutting. It wuz Serious, Vampire's dad and..................Snap! All of them were wearing blak eyeliner and blak Good Chralootte band shirts. "Lizzen I'm in a goth band wif those guys." he said. "Were playing 2nite at da Marylin Mason show as back-up. **[You kill my brain to extinction.]**

"ORLY." I ESKED. **[ORLY is so like mid 2000's.]**

"Yeah." he said. "Were calld XBlakXTearX. **[That's a disgusting band name.]** I play teh gutter. **[Dirty bitch.]** Spartacus plays da drums" he said ponting to him. "Snap plays the boss. **[Bass? Drop the bass?]** And Jamez plays the guitar to even fo we call him Samaro, after Samara in da ring." **[K I L L - M E.]**

"Hey bastards." I told them they gave me Dethz tuch sin. Suddenly I gasped again. "But don't u have a lead singer!" I asked. Lucian looked dawn sadly.

"We uzd to but she did. She contempted suicide by silting her rists." **[Sigh. Fascinating.]**

"Oh my fuking god!11 Datz so fuking sad!1" I gasped. **[No, it's not sad; it's actually rather redundant.]**

"Its okay but we need a new led snigger." **[Take the S out and what do you have? Some word that I can't say and I find very offensive to even see in this.]** Samaro said.

"Wel...........I said Im in a bnad myself."

"Rilly?" asked Snap. I cudnt belive it. He used 2 b goffik!111

"Yeah were called Blody Gothik Rose 666. Do u wanna hr me sing?" **[No! Please don't fucking sing! I bet it sounds like scratching on a chalkboard.]**

Yeah said everyone. So the guys tok out der guitarz. They began to pay a song bi (geddit koz bi guyz r sooo sexah!11) **[Oh my fucking god. I will kill you in your sleep!]** Gurn Day. **[They are now called Gurney Day.]**

"I wok dis empt stret on da bolevrad of broken dremz." **[You have ruined Boulevard of Broken Dreams for me. Thanks, bitch.]** I sang sexily (I dnot own da lyrikz 2 dat song) **[Then why the tits did you even stick it in here if you don't even know the lyrics?]** .. Every1 gasped.

"Enopby? **[The fuck?]** Will u join da band? Plz!1" **[No.]** begged Lucian, Samoro, Serious and Snap.

"Um.......ok." I shrugged. "Are we gong to play tonight?" **[We are going to play _never!_ ] **

"Yah." they said.

"Ok." I said but I new dat I had 2 get a new outfit. I walked outside wondering how I kud go forward in time. Suddenly someone jumped in fornt of me. It wuz.....Morty Mcfli!1 **[Who the flying balls is this?]** He was wering a blak bnad tshrit and blak bagy jeans.

"What da hell r u dong here!11" I asked.

"I wil help u go frowad in tim Enoby." he said siriusly Den..........he took out a blak tim machine. I went in2 it and..........................sudenly I wuz forward in tim!111 **[Fuck this bullshit.]**

**Chapter 36.**

AN: I sed stop flaming ok!111111111 I bet u r al proly old srevinty yr oldz!111 **[Seventy? No; we're people who know the difference between a horrible mistake of fanficion verses an amazing work. This is the first one times a million. This is a piece of shit. The farther and farther I read and commentate of this, my sarcasm turns into rudeness. It's needed now.]** ps PORTERSUZ **[...Portuguese..?]** UR A PREP!1 o ya nd fangz 2 raven 4 di help!111 hav fun in englond gurl!11111 **[This fanfic makes me depressed. I'm about ready to turn into your personification of Gothic and grab a knife and go cut cut. That's how bad this bull is.]**

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I loked around in a depresed way. Suddenly I saw Profesor Sinister. B'lody Mary, Socrates and Draco, Vampire and Willow were their to.

"OMFG Sorius I saw u nd Samaro and Snip nd everyone!11111 I kant beleev Snap uzd 2 b goffik!111111" **[I have nothing to say to these two bullshit things.]**

"Yah I no." Serious said sadly.

"Oh hey there bitch." Profesor Trevolry said in an emo voice dirnking some Volxemortserom. **[I still don't understand what the fuck a Voldemort-serum is. Get a life.]**

Hi fuker." I said. "Lizzen, Satan asked me out to a gottik cornet and a movie so I need a sexah new outfit for da date. Also I'm playng in a gothic band so I need an ootfit for that too."

"Oh my satan!1" (geddit lolz koz shes gofik) **[Oh my god. Get it? Because I'm a normal person.]** gasped B'lody Mary. "Want 2 go to Hot Topik to shop 4 ur outfit?"

"OMFS, letz have a groop kutting session!11" said Profesor Trevolry.

"I can't fucking wait 4 dat but we need 2 get sum stuff first." said Willow.

"Yah we need sum portions for Profesor Trevolry so she wont be adikted 2 Volxemortserum anymore nd also.............sum luv potion 4 Enoby." Darko said resultantly. **[I have no idea what this bullshit is.]**

"Well we have potions klass now." Willow said so let's go.

We went sexily to Potionz class. But Snap wasn't there. Instead there was................................................Cornelio Fuck!11111

"Hey where the fuck is Dumblydore!111" **[He's back.]** Draco shouted angrily.

"STFU!1" shooted Cornelia Fuck. "He is in Azkhabian [Azkaban?] now wif Snip and Loopin **[Snip? Sigh.]** he is old and week he has kancer. **[Oh wow. That's not funny.]** "Now do ur work!111"

My friendz and I talked arngrily. **[The fuck?]**

"Can you BELEVE Snap used to be gottik!1" Vampire asked surprisedly. **[Why?]**

"DATZ IT!11" CORNELIO FUK SHOOTED ARNGRILY. "IM GETTING PROFESOR BRIDGE!111" **[You're a professional bridge? How does that happen.]**

He stomped out angrily.

Mi frendz and I began talking again. I began to drink some blod mixed wif beer. **[That's fucking disgusting.]** Suddenly I saw Hargrid in da cupboard. **[How did he fit in there?]**

"WTF is he doing?" I asked. Then I looked at Draco. He wuz wearing tonz of eyeliner nd he locked shexier **[Shexier..? Not a word.]** den eva. Suddenly..............."HARGRIF WUT DA FOK R U DOING!11" he shooted.

I looked around................Hairgrid wuz putting sumfing in my glass of blod!11 **[Good. Maybe it's a roopie.]** Darko and Vampire started 2 beat him up sexily. **[How can you beat up people sexily? Take off your clothes and put yourself into poses? Fuck. That. Noise.]**

"God u r such a posr!1" I shooted at Hairgrid. Suddenly I looked ar what he was putting in da blood. It was..................Amnesia Portion!111 **[Good.]**

**Chapter 37.**

AN: OK EVRYBODY IM GONG ON VOCATION ON DA FRIST OF JULY SO IM EEDER GONNA END DA FIK OR UPDAT IT IN WEEX. fangz!1 oh yah nd prepz stop flaming sa story!11 raven fangz 4 da help c ya gurl afta vocation!11 **[Never come back. I hope you get lost in the Bermuda Triangle.]**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX **[Illuminati.]**

DARKO'S PONT OF VIEW LOL **[Oh wow. Finally a Point of View change. Now it's going to be even fucking worse!]**

Vampire and I chaind Hairgrid 2 da floor.

"Oh mi fucking satan!11" Enoby said. She wuz so hot. **[Nah. She's disgusting.]** "Maybe I cud uze Amnesia potion 2 make Satan foll in love wif me faster!1"

"But u r so sexy and wonderful aneway Tata," **[Boob?]** said Vampire. "Why would u need it?"

"To make everyfing go faster lol." said Enoby.

"But you wont have to do it wif him or anyfing, will u?" I asked jelosly.

"OMFG u guyz r so scary!11" said Britney, a fucking prep.

"Shut the fuk up!1" said Willow.

"Ok well anyway lets go 2 Profesor Trevolry's room."

Draco, Ebory and I went to Profesor Siniater's room. But Profesor Sinister wasn't there. Instead Tom Rid was. **[Riddle?]**

Oh hi fuckers he said. Lizzen, I got u sum kewl new clovez. [ **Nice use of invisible quotation marks.]**

I took out da cloves from da bag. It was a goffik blak leather miniskirt that said '666' on da bak, black stilton bootz, blood red fishnetz and a blak corset. **[Great. Just horrifically great.]**

"OMG fangz!" I said hugging him in a gothic way. **[How do you say things in a Gothic way..? Please explain.]** I took da clothes in da bag.

"OK Profesor Sinister isnt hr what the fuk should we do?" asked Draco. Suddenly he loked at a sign on da blak wall.

"Oh my fuking satan!1" I screamed as I read it. On it said Evry1 Profesor Sinister is away. She is too gottik she is in Azkhabian now. **[What the fuck.]** Classes shal be taught by Dubledork **[He is a dork!]** who is bak but he shall not be principal 4 now. Sincerely Profesor Rumbridge. **[Almost.]**

"OMFG!111" I shoted arngrily. "How could they do that!11"

Suddenly Dumblydore came. **[He came so hard his name changed.]**

"WHAT DA HELL R U DONG IN MY OFICE!1" he began to shoot angrily. Sudwenly I saw Morty Mcfly's blak tim machine!111 I jumped seductivly **[Ew.]** in2 it leaving Draco and Vampire. Sudenly I wuz back in tim!11 I looked around. It was...............Profesor Slutborn's **[They are apparently a slut.]** efface! I sneaked around. Suddenly **[Stop saying the word suddenly! It's so fucking over used!]** I saw da Amnesia potion on his desk. It wuz blak wif blood-red pentagramz in it. It was the shape of a cross. I put it in my poket. Suddenly da door opened it wuz........Profesor Slutgorn!11 **[Slutgorn..?]**

OMG wut r u doing fuker he shooted angrily I don't kno wut da fuk r u DOING I SHOUTED ANGRILY. **[Please, add quotation marks.]**

"Oh sorry I wuz just looking around koz I thought it wuz class." you said finally hoping he couldn't c da potion in ur pocket. **[Your pocket? When did first person turn second person?]**

"Oh ok u can go now." said Profesor Slutborn. **[SLUTS.]**

You went to the conmen room after putting on my clothes. **[Why did I put on your clothing? Pick a point of view and stick with it. You change between all First, Second and third person.]** Silas, Samaro and Snap were there practicing Vampirez will Never Hurt U by MCR.

"Oh hi you guys." I said seductively. **[You whore.]** "Wheres Satan?"

"Oh he's cumming." **[Will his name change once he cums?]** said Serious. "BTW u can kall me Hades now." Suddenly Satan came. **[Welp.]** He was wearing a smexxy blak leather Jackson, **[Jackson? Five?]** blak congres shoes, a Slipnot **[Please, take a well known metal band that I like out of your shitty mundane fanfiction. Fucking scrub.]** t-shirt and a blak tie.

"Ok I will see you guyz at da concert." I said and then I went with Satan. **[To hell.]**

**Chapter 38.**

AN: wut doez every1 fink if I end da strory **[I'd be in heaven.]** and den I add sum more 2 it after vocation? **[No! Stop it all together.]** oh yah asnd prepz stup flaming if u dnot lik dat story den take muh quiz ok den u wil c if ur gofik or not!1111111 **[What are the questions? Are you Gothic? Does your eyes suddenly bleed? Does your asshole fall apart with a single touch from Draco's schwen?]**

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Satan and I walked 2 his car. It wuz a blak car wif pentagrams all over it. **[That would most likely be illegal.]** On da license plate said 666 **[Not a real license plate.]** ust lik Draco's car. I went in it seduktivly. **[What the fuck?]** Stan **[Who's Stan?]** started 2 drive it. We talked about Satanism (lolz he wuz named after Satan), **[Fuck off.]** kuttting, musik and being goffik.

"Oh my satan, Gerard is so fuking hot!11" **[Like, oh my fucking god.]** Volxemort agreed as we smoked sum weed. (koz bi guyz r hot dey r so sensitive I luv dem lol goez fux a bi guy)

"Lol, I totally decided not 2 comit suicide when I herd Hilena." I said in a flirty voice. **[You and your flirtly, sexily, anything that ends in 'ly' is so fucking annoying. Or anything that ends with a 'y' on your end is so annoying.]** "..........Hey Satan do u know da cure 4 when ppl r adikted 2 Volxemortseruem?"

"Well.................." he thought. "I fink u have 2 drink Vampire blod."

Suddenly Volxemort parked da car behind a blak movie theater. **[That can be taken wrong.]** Satan and I walked outside. We went in2 da movie tether were they were showing da Excercist. In it a boy and a gurl were doing it sudenly a cereal killer **[He kills cereal.]** came lol. Satan and I laughed at da blood koz we're sadists.

While Satan was watching da movie, I had an idea. I took Satan's gothic blak Nightmare b4 Christmas cigar sexily **[Fuck you.]** from his poket and put sum Amnesia potion in it. I put it bak in his blak Emile the Strange bag. Satan turned arund and started 2 smoke it. Blak cloudz wif red pentagramz ind em started 2 fly around everywhere. **[HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK?!]**

"OMG!111" Satan said jumping up. I gasped koz I wuz afraid hed notizd. "Enoby gess what?"

I new that the amnesia had worked.

"Amnesia potion has not been invented yet so it will not work." He said. "2 badd coz I wanted 2 use sum on u." **[Oh shiiitttt.~]**

"Kul." I raised my eye suggestingly. **[...Suggestively.]** And den.......... he tok of my cloves sexily and we started 2 make out. **[Rabbits!]** I tok of his shit. **[Gross.]** He had six-pak justr lik Gerard Way!11 We frenched. **[You sick fucking rabbits.]**

"Xcuze me but u r going 2 have 2 leave!111" shooted da lady behind us she was a prep.

"Fuk u!11" I said. Suddenly...................... I attaked her suking all her blood. **[With what? Your ass?]**

"Noooooo!11" she screamed. All the preps in da theater screamed but everyone else crapped **[So. They shit themselves?]** koz Satan and I loked so cute 2gether. Satan and I started to walk outside.

"Zomg how did u do that?" Voldremort asked in a turned-on voice.

"I'm a vampire." I said as we went into the car.

"Siriusly?" he gasped.

"Yah siriusly." I said drinking sum beer. Satan started 2 drive da car. I smelled happily. **[How does your nose smile?]**

"Itz too bad we didn't get 2 c da rest of the movie, don't u fink?"

"Yah." I said as we kised passively. **[Rabbits! Passionately.]** Satan parked in a blak driveway next 2 da place where Draco and I had watched GC for the frist time. We went inside where Marylin Mason wuz playing and started to mosh lol. **[Hurhur. Lol. Lmao. Lmfao. Lmfaoyousucktits.]**

"Anti-ppl now uve gone 2 far Jeus Krist Superstar!1111" screamed Marlin on da stage. We did the devil fingers. **[Their not Devil fingers. They can be taken as horns but their not associated with the fucking Devil you twat.]** I started 2 dance really close to Satan. He was so shmexay!1 He looked at me all emo with his gothic red eyes and he looked exactly like Mikey Way. **[Galaxy? The candy?]** I almost got an orgaism!1 [Disgusting.] Suddenly Marylin Mason stopped singing.

"I wood like to peasant.................XBlakXTearX!11" **[Marylin Manson wouldn't do that to someone so fucking small. Next!]** he said. I ran onstage. Lucian, Samaro, Snap and Hades were there. They started 2 play their instilments. I got onstag.

"Wel if u wonted honesty datz all u had 2 say!1111" I sang. (I dnot own da lyerix 2 dat song) **[Stop placing lyrics in fanfics if you don't know the fucking music; at least my song-fics I know the lyrics, and know the songs very well. Twat.]** My voice sounded lik a pentagram **[How the bloody tits does a pentagram sound like? -Enter Devil voices here- ?]** betwen Amy Lee and a gurl version of Gerard Woy. Everyone clappd. Satan got an eructation. **[Erection..? Gross.]** "I'M NUT OKAY!1" I sang finaly. Suddenly Lucian started playing da song wrong by mistak.

"OMFG!1" yielded James. "Wut the fuck?"

"Woops im sory!" said Lucian.

"You fuking ashhole!1" James shouted angrily.

"U guys are such prepz!11" Snap said. "Cum on it wuz a mistake!1"

"Yah itz not his fault!11" said Serious.

"No he ruined the fucking song!1" yelled Samaro.

"U guys stop!11" I shotoed angrily but it waz 2 late. They all began 2 fight. Sudenly Samaro took out hiz nife.

"OMFG no!11" shouted Lucan but it wuz 2 late James tried 2 shoot off his arm.

And den.................................I jumped secxily **[Sexily. I hope you got shot in your vagina.]** in front of da bullet!11

"No!111" yielded everyone but it wuz 2 late suddenly everyfing went blak.

**Chapter 39. I Am A Trolling Genious, lolz**

Disclaimer: I do not own the HP series and I am not the real XXXbloodyrists666XXX. **[Oh hell yeah. Let us begin with the trolling; I can't wait to read this. I shall flame the flamer.]**

AN// I am an extremely immature pathetic idiot girl, I know. **[Same. Same.]** Out of boredom, I crack this girl's passy for fun (and it took less than 8 minutes to do it too) and will probably get in a shitload of trouble. Which I probably deserve 'cause I'm being a troll right now. Meh. **[Again; same. Same. Trolls are fun. I applaud you, whomever the hell this was. This is so much better to read. My brain is not melting. Thank you, nameless troll.]**

And I present to you MY crappy part in this story. **[-Waits in anticipation.- Go on...]** (And take note I haven't even finished reading this fic yet, but instead skip over to skim chapter 38.) Flame, laugh, do whatever you want "preps." **[And this is exactly what I've been doing up to this point. It's so much fun.]**

I, the American retail wearing british vampire Sue, coughed up blood. **[Hahaha. That's great. So great.]**

Satan kneeled down beside me.

"Noooooooooooooooo! Don't die!"

I gave him a rueful smile. "I'm sorry. It's something I had to do, to fufill my duty as the noble gothic Mary Sue." **[Bwhahaha. Oh, it's great to see shit like my own flaming in this. This is amazing.]**

Satan sobbed. "I love you Ebony." **[Who the hell would love this bitch?]**

"I love you two. I'll...I'll see you in hell." I mumbled, already finding my surroundings fading to black. **[Yes, please, finally die off.]**

B'loody Mary Smith suddenly popped into the room for no apparent reason. **[Hah! Exactly!]** She frowned when she realized the room was oddly quiet, but at the sight of Ebony's lifeless body, she screamed. Her face became pale with horror. She screamed for the healers, Dumbledore, Mcgoogle, **[McGoogle? Again? Oh.]** and every single gothic person she could think of. **[Tehehe.]**

Suddenly, a glow started to surround the body of Ebony. Everyone stared in shock. Her body started to lift ever so slowly and then, to everyone's shock, it started to incinerate. **[Oh. Well then.]**

When everyone realized what was happening, they rushed over to try to rescue the body, but it was too late, the Sue became nothing more then a pile of ashes. **[Ayyy! -Claps- Oh my god! Happy days are here again! The Mary Sue is gone! Ah! Party!]**

A loud resounding of everyone bellowing "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!!" filled the room. **[Yesssssss!!]**

A flash of white light from the ashes then started to bounce around the room. **[That's creepily weird. Make it stop!]** Everyone cowered in fear and were temporarily blinded. When it was all over, things changed.

All the silly goth clothes dropped from everyone's bodies **[Bullshit. That's how.]** (AN//I will refuse to explain how the hell that happened.) **[Good. Please don't.** ] and, in their place, clothes the characters would normally wear in canon appeared on their bodies. **[Woo! Back to normal and not this Gothic bullshit.]**

When everyone got over the shock of becoming free of the gofick **[Please don't use that; your writing is so good. Please don't.]** power, everybody cheered. Everyone started singing 'Ding dong the sue is dead...' **[Ding, dong, the Mary Sue is dead!]** Well, that is, until all the HP characters realized the true implications of becoming more canon like again.

All the characters who were supposed to be dead fell to the floor, their bodies cold and lifeless. Harry and Voldemort started dueling. On the left side of the two, the battle of the Light Side and the Dark Side were reaching a climax. **[Oh my. Now, this is better.]**

And, because the replacement author also likes to screw around with canon, Draco and Hermione fled the scene and got married. **[Well then. It's better than that fucking Mary Sue and Draco. -Thumbs up.- Alright.]**

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Meanwhile...

Down in hell, Ebony shed a single tear because of her current situation. A situation that would live on for all eternity. Or at least until the end of fanfiction time. **[True. Or until the original author decides to come back and this amazing troll leaves. Cries.]**

She lost it all, but she knew she had to remain strong. Nothing would ever break her down.

She looked down over her pale body, and frowned. 'Where are my emo clothes?' [ **Bend over; their stuffed up that ass of yours.]** She asked herself in confusion.

And then it occured to her...

For her shirt, she was wearing a bright pink polo with a little seagull on the (right or left? I can't remember) side. **[For once, I will be happy with clothing descriptions.]** Below that, she was wearing a denim miniskirt with the "destroyed" look on it. Paired underneath that skirt were leggings with a little moose at the bottom. **[Awe that's adorable.]** And then Ebony realized, on her shoulder, she was carrying a pretty bag with an eagle on it that said Live Your Life written all over the bag. **[Oh my. This is amazing.]**

Ebony supressed the urge to scream. Here she was decked out in clothes prep to the extreme wearing stuff from Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle, AND Hollister. **[Which are normal clothing brands. Oh my god. Finally. Thank you, troller.]**

Panicked, Ebony hastily tried to take off the Hollister polo, but underneath it, there was another Hollister polo underneath. **[Poloception.]** Ebony frowned, and looked under her shirt. All she saw was a bra underneath (dare I point out it's from the Aerie line available at American Eagle?). **[Sure!]** Ebony tried to remove the shirt again. But to her frustration, there was yet again another polo to replace it. **[I love this.]**

"THIS IS UNLOGICAL AND DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE!!" Ebony bellowed out to the air. She failed to see the irony in her statement, how hypocrytical her words were, seeing as she was practically calling the kettle black here. **[Oh my. I see what you did there.]**

Ebony slit her writs and mumbled to herself, "Omigod." **[Oh my god.]**

/End Crap Fic. **[I love you. Please don't leave!]**

AN// Oh yeah, if you wanna see the original content this chick had planned for this chapter, I accessed it through the document manager thingy, which I copied and pasted, so you can read it here:

**[There was original work here, but to keep myself sane, I don't want to edit anything else once more. So, let us just pretend that it never existed in the first place.~]**

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Sincerely,

An-Anon-Author-Who-Will-Silently-Not-Reveal-Her-Identity-Because-She's-A-Coward :P **[If you ever see this, please contact me. I want to get to know you and bitch the fuck out of this shit.]**

A.K.A. Just a troll with rocks for brains. **[Same. Same.]**

**Chapter 40. LOL! Someone has taken my account over!**

THE IDIOT'S NOTE: Well... this was in the doc area... might as well let the whole world see what the real Tara wanted to show us... Have a nice day! **[No! Please come back! I need you! Aah! -Cries- Welp. Back to bullshit.]**

AN: stfu prepz git a lif!111111 U SUCK!11 oh and form now on il be in vocation in englind until lik august so I wont be able 2 update 4 a while, lolz. fangz 2 evry1 hu revoiwed expect da prepz hu flamed FOK U!1 MCR RULEZ 666!111

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I woke up in da Norse's offace on a special gothik coffin. [ **Uh huh. You died in the previous chapter. Bring it back.]** Hairgrid wuz in da bed opposite me in a comma coz Vampir and Draco had bet him up. Mr. Noris was cleaning the room.

"Oh mi satan wut happened!" I screamed. Suddenly Volxemort came. He loked less mean then usual. **[He was just on his period.]**

"Get the fuk out u fucking bastard!11" I yielded. **[Stop yielding! I miss the Anon troller. Bring her back.]**

"Thou hath nut killd Vampire yet!11" **[Thou will not pass thy test until you have killed Vampire Potter. Screw you.]** he said arngrily. Sudenly he started 2 cry tearz of blood al selective. **[Ugh..]**

"Volxemort? OMFG what's wrong!111" I asked.

Sudenly.......... Lucian, Profesor Sinister and Serious came! B'lody Mary and Vampire were wif dem. **[Nah. They all turned back into normal fucking people. Not this Gothic mumbo jumbo.]** Every1 was holding blak boxez. VOLXEMORT DISAPAERD.

"OMFG Enoby ur alive!111" **[Nope. She's in Hell where she belongs.]** Scremed Vampire. I hugged him and B'lody Mary.

"What the fuk happened?" **[A secretive yet amazing Anon came onto this shit and changed it back to canon and not original character! It was great!]** I asked dem. "Oh my satan!11 Am I lik dead now?" **[Yes.]** I gosped.

"Enoby u were almost shot!11" said Serious. "But da ballet could not kill u since u were form anodder time."

"But fangz anyway!1" said Lucian holding oot his arm. I gasped. He had two arms! **[Everyone has two arms, you dingus.]**

"OMG I cant beleve Vampirz' dad shot u!1" I gasped.

"Well 2 be honest Snap wuz pozzesd by Snap bak den." said James.

"Yah he wuz a spy." Serious said sadly. "He wuz really a Death Dealer." **[Dealer of Death, yo.]**

"And he wuz such a fuking poser 2!11" said Lucian. "He didn't even realy no hu GC were until I told him." Well anyway everyone tarted **[Let's all turn into tarts for a moment.]** 2 give me presents. I was opening a blak box wif red 666s (there wuz a dvd of corps bride in it) on it when I gasped. Mr. Noris looked up angrily coz he h8ed gothz. **[I do too, now.]**

"Hey haz aneone fuking seen Draco?" I asked gothikally.

"No Draco told me he wood be watching Hoes of Wax." **[I guess hoes are made out of wax. House of Wax is a good movie tho. It's so old though but yes.]** said Profesor Trevolry. "He duzzn't know dat ur better. Anyway da norse said u could get up. Cum on!1"

I got up suicidally. **[I have no idea how anyone in their right mind can even do that.]** Lucian, Serious and Profesor Sinister left. I wuz wearing a blak leather nightgun. Under that I had on a sexxy blak leather bra trimed wif blak lace, with a matching thong that said goffik gurl on the butt and sexy fishnetz that kind hooked on 2 my thong (if u don't get da idea massage me ill tell u). **[Wow. I have no words for this shitty shit.]** I put on a blak fishnet top under a blak MCR t-shirt, a blak leather mini **[Mini what? Mini me?]** with blak lace and congress shoes. I left the hospital's wings wif B'lody Mary, Willow and Vampire.

"OMFG letz celebrate!11" gasped Willow.

"We can go c Hose of Wax **[And other than hoes, hoses are wax now.]** wif Draco!1" giggled Vampire.

"Letz go lizzen 2 GC and kut ourselvz 666!11" **[Cut ourselves six six six. Why.]** said Hermoine. We opened da conmen room door sexily. And den...........I gasped............................................. Draco wuz there doing it wif Snap!1111111111111111111111111 **[Ew. What the fuck?]** He wuz wearing a blak tshirt wif 666 on da front and baggy jeanz.

"U fucking prep!11" we all yielded angrily.

"Yah u betrayed us!111" shooted Vampire angrily as he took out his blak gun.

"No u don't understand!1" screamed Draco sadly as he took his thingie out of Snake's. **[Eeeeeeeeeee....]**

"No shit u fuking suk u preppy bastard!111" said Willow trying 2 attak him (u rok girl!1). **[You suck, girl.]** I ran suicidally **[How?!]** to my room I sexily took a steak out. **[You and your fucking words mixed with anything sexy or anything with the words sexy. Stop. Nothing you do is sexy.]**

"Enoby no!11111" screamed Draco but it wuz 2 l8 I had slit muh ritsts wif it suddenly everyfing went blak again. **[Yes!!]**

Idiot's Note: Ugh... I know... terrible... but then again, this wouldn't be called the 'worst fanfic ever if not for the fact that the writing standards meets the level of a day old fetus... **[Hahaha! Great! Great!]**

**[I can't do anymore right now. ;~; I'll finish the last few either later or tomorrow. Sorreh.]**


	7. [Chapter Fourty-One Through Fourty-Four] [Final.] || With Written Commentary ||

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the final of this bullshit. Enjoy.

**Okay. Now this is the final. Only a few left. My brain died so I couldn't do it all. But now it is here!  
**

**\-----------------------------------------**

**Chapter 41.**

AN: 2 every1 hu kepz flaming diz GIT S LIF!!!!! **[I think that you need to get a life as well.]** I bet u proly odnt no hu gerod way **[Actually, I do know who he is.]** is ur proly al prepz and pozers!!!!!!!!11111 neway sum1 hakked in2 mi akkount in November and dey put up my last chaptah but now der is a new 1. im surry 4 nut updating g 4 a while but ive been rilly bizzy. im trying 2 finish da story b4 da new movie kumz out. Im gong on vacation 4 a mons I wont be bak until abott 2 weeks. OMFG drako iz so hot in all da pix 4 da new movie!!!111 I wunted dem 2 put a kameo by geord way lol he hsud play drako. if u flame ill slit muh risztz!!!!!!!!11 **[Are you gonna slit your wrists now?]** raven u rok gurl hav fun in ingland. **[Igloo?]**

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When I wook up I wuz in a strange room. I loked around I wuz wearing da same outfit I had when is performed wif XBlakXTearX!!!!!11 **[Well okay. Sleeping in the same clothing.]** I looked arund confusedly. **[Well then.]** It wuz da Norse's **[Horse?]** office but it looked difrent!! On da wall wuz a pik of Marlyin Munzon!!!1111 (just imagin dat he is an 80s goffik band 2 ok koz he is more old den panic?! at da dizcko or mcr) **[What the fuck?]** der wuz also a goffik blak Beatles calander **[...The Beatles were not Gothic. That's racist. They were one, if not the only very iconic band of their year.]** with a picture of the beetlez werring iyeliner and blak cloves. On it said '1980.'

"OMFG!!! Im back in Tim again!!!!111" **[Tim? How the fuck did you get in Tim? And who the hell _is_ Tim?] **I screamed loudly. Suddenly Satan(dis is actually voldimort 4 photo refrenss!). **[What the fuck?]** Voldimort wuz wearing a blak leather Jackson, **[Jackson Five? Michael Jackson?]** blak tight jeans and fishnet pantz. **[Ew??]** He looked so sexah I almost had an orgy!!!!11 **[My eyes are bleeding.]**

"OMFG Enoby r u ok." **[Here we go changing your name again.]** He asked gothikally. **[As you can see, "Gothicly" is underlined in red on my screen. That shit is _NOT_ a _WORD._ Too. Many. Words. Ending. In. 'ly!']**

"Yah Im okay 4 ur in4mation." **[Are you too lazy to type 'for' in 'Information?' _'Oh yes, let us leet words!'_ ] **I snapped sexily. **[I give up. Go to grammar school.]** "OMG am I dedd???" **[Dad?]** koz I remembered I had jumped in front off da bullet from Jame's gun. I also rememberd cing Drako doing it wif Snap!!!!111 **[Wif. I'm about ready to go CinemaSins on this. Oh wait, I already am. -Enter Dings everywhere.-]**

I guessed dat when I had slit mi wrists I had went bak in tim instead of dieing. **[Remember kids, slicing your wrists to bits brings you back in time. Geez.]** I knoew I could go forward in time if I found a time-toner or da tim machine. **[Slice your leg and you will go forward in time. Trust me. I've done it. Not.]**

"No ur not dead." **[O know. ur ded.]** Satan reassured suicidally **[Really?]** as he smokd a cigarette sexily _**[REALLY?]**_ and smoke came all over his face. "Ur a vampire so u kant die frum a bullet. Cum **[Cum on over. And I'll come on you.]** on now lets go c how Hairy's **[Harry's dad is Hairy.]** dad is doing."

I noo **[Noooooooooooo.]** dat da real reason I didn't die from da ballet **[B u l l e t.]** was koz I was from da future. "WTF!!!! **[Once again, this entire bull is a What the fuck moment.]** James almust shot Luciious!!!" I said indigoally. **[Indigo is a color... How can you--... Never mind..]** I knew that James had really ben possezzed, **[.......P O S S E S S E D.]** but I didn't want him2 know I knew.

"Yah I know but he had a headache he wz under a lot of stress." Satan reasoned evilly.

"I guess that's ok." I said because James hadn't really shot Lucian. Also I noo that Lucian wood now have 2 arms instead of 1. I walked seduktivly outside with Satan. Suddeni **[Suddenly.]** I saw a totally sexi goffik bi guy!!!!!11 **[I don't even think a bisexual man would even want to do anything with you.]** He had bleched blond hair wiv blak streaks up 2 his ears and he wuz wearing goffik blak iliner, a blak Green Day shirt (it showed billy joel wiv bolnd hair since it was da eighties), blak congress shoes **[The congress makes shoes now. Well then.]** and black baggy pants. He walked in all sexly like Gerrd way in the vido for I Don't 3 u lyk I did yesterday and you cud see a blak tear on his face lyk da wmn in dat video. "Hey." He sed all qwietly and goffically. **[What the holy fuck was all that.]**

"Who da fuck is that?" **[I ask that question all the time when I flame this piece of shit.]** I asked angrly cos I did nut kno him.

"Dis is...Hedwig!!!!!!!!!11" Sed Volximort. **[Voldemort is now a seed. We must plant him.]** "He used to be in XBlackXTearX 2 but he had 2 dropp out koz he broke his arm. **[Or he left because he didn't want to be in such a horrible band.]**

"Hey Hedwig." I said seductively evn tho I wuz nut tring to b. **[Every word that comes out of yer mouth is "sexy." And that's gross.]**

"Lol **[Who the flying fuck says 'lol,' when they speak? 'LAWLZ, HELLO, LAWLZ BAWLZ.' What the fuck.]** hi Enoby." He answered but then he ran away bcos he had hair of magical creature. **[Sooooo... He had the hair of a unicorn? Did he have a horn too? Was it up his ass?]** He was humming Welcum 2 da Blak Prade **[That's a good song but really? Please don't botch that shit.]** under his breth( I no dat is not 80s but pretend it is ok!!) **[No. I'm not pretending anything is in the 80's.]**

"Bye." I sed all sexily. **[Stop.]**

"Dat was Hedwig. He used 2 b my boifreind but we broke up." **[What the fuck?]** Satan said sadly, luking at his blak nails.

"OMFG I can get u bak 2gether!" I said fingering something I didn't know wuz in my pocket- **[Ew????]** a blak Kute is What we Aim 4 cideo ipod that I could take videos wif (duz ne1 elze no about dem??? dey kik azz!!!!). **[What the fuck?]**

"Ok u can 4get about ur class for now, Hedwig. Im going 2 show u something grate!!!!1" **[I will show you a grate that's on the floor. It's so remarkable. You'll never see another grate like this one ever again!]** I led them to da Great Hall. "Cum on u guys." **[That sentence with the word 'cum,' sounds really fucking dirty and really fricken gross.]**

Lucian, James, Serious and Snake were all in da Grate Hall. Lucian woudnt talk wiv James because he had tried 2 shoot him. **[Everyone needs to be shot in this. Right in the head. With a rifle. At point blank range. Glack glack, mother fucker.]**

"Go fuk urself you fukking douche!" he shouted at him. "Drako is never gong 2 b frends with vampire now!!1" **[Who wants to be friends with any of these Gothic remake assholes?]**

"Yah go fuck urself Samaro!" **[What the fuck is a Samaro? Somoa? Somoa Joe?]** Snape agreed but I noo he wuz lying koz it had been his folt James had almost shot Lucian.

"B quiet u guys." I said sexily. **[I am going to shoot you in the head, if I read any form of 'ly' words that doesn't need to be there. Sexily people don't do. Specifically when they're telling someone to be quiet. Are you a little slutty slut that wants to get in everyone's pants? Well ya already fucked like rabbits with Draco. I'm surprised you haven't with the entire school. Fuck.]** Mi plan waz working oot great. Now I kood make Voldement **[He turned into a mint.]** good wivout doing it with him! Now Vampire's dad wood never die and **[You stopped in mid sentence. 'And' what?]** "OK Satan and Hedwig, u guys can start making out." I said and I started 2 film dem wiv da ipod. **[Uhm... I'm disturbed by this entire quote sequence and what follows after. You bitch because people film you, and now you're filming a make-out session. Make up yer damn mind.]**

"Kool." **[Aid.]** said Serious as Voldemort and Hedwig started 2 make out sexily. **[-Shoots in the head with a rifle.-]** We watched as tdey started 2 take each odderz cloves off sexily. Samaro, Serious, Snake and Lucian all watched koz dey wer prolly bi. I noo Snape was bi. **[I'm so done.]**

"Oh my fukking god!!!! Voldimort! Voldimort!" screamed Hedwig as his glock **[Gun sex. I can't even. xD.]** touched Voldemort's.

But suddenly everything stopped as da door opend and in kame..................Dumblydore and Mr. Norris!!!!111111111111 **[Run away from the glock sex. You don't want to be pistol whipped.]**

**Chapter 42. da blak parade** **_[Welcome to the Black Parade. This is how you correctly write this songs title. Not that bullshit.]_ **

AN: omg da new book iz kumming out rlly soon I kant wait!!!1111. I fink dat snap will be really the same person as Volximort koz dey are both haff-blood so dat will explain y he kild dumblydore and he hated hairy!!!!!1111 nd den hairy wil have 2 kommit suicide so voldimort will die koz he will rilly be a horcrox!!!!!111 omg I hope draco nd harry get 2getha dat will be so shmexxy, wont it?? If dey don't den JKR is hamophobic!!!!!111111 fangz 4 da help wiv facts, medusa u rok!!!111 **[I have nothing to say to this hunking heaping pile of shit that I just read. There is no way that JK Rowling would make a Harry Potter book with Harry and Draco being gay for each other and making 'deh sex and getting together. One, that's not cannon, and two, that's just gross. I'm not against gay people, I'm more than half gay myself, but no. Just... No. Stop it right now.]**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX **[Illuminati.]**

I sat depressedly in Dumbledork's **[DEPRESSED. Dumbledore. NOT DUMBLEDORK. He's not a dork.]** office wiv Hedwig, Satan, James, Serious, Snap and Lucian. Dumbledore **[Oh my god. She knows how to spell. Get this bitch a metal.]** was sitting in front of us cruelly. He looked more young den he did in da future. He had taken da ipod away and wuz now lizzening 2 a shitty Avril Levine song. **[Haha.]**

"What da hell is this anyway??" he cackled meanly. I hoped he didn't find out dat I was frum another time.

"Whatever u do don't blame Ibony, **[Ibony? What the fuck?]** u jerk." Satan said.

"Yah, siriusly **[Yeah, Siri.]** she was trying to get Satan and Hedwig back together." Serious said deviantly.

"Be quiet you Satanists." **[Be quiet, you holy bastard.]** Dumbledore cockled. **[Cock.]** "If ur lucky I'll probably send u all to Akazaban!!! **[Azkaban.]** That will teach u to copolate in da Great Hall." He changed the song on da ipod 2 a n'Sync song. Suddenly I noticed sumfing strong about da Ipod. It was slowly chonging! Dumblydore didn't notece. **[This entire thing is a hunk of junk. Kill it with fire!]**

"You fucking poser." I muttoned. **[Mutton..? Mutton chops..?]**

"I bet you've never herd of GC." **[I bet you've never heard of HT.]** James said. Know I knew waht da iPod was chonging in2- Morti McFly's tim machine!!!!!11 **[...Really?]**

"Shut up Jomes!!!" Drako's dad shouted.

"Yeah shut up!!!!" Snake said preppily. **[Sexily. Creepily. Sadistically. Depressingly. Depressedly. Hormonealy. Skittishly. Prissily. Fuckily. Got anymore ly words?]**

"No u shut up Dumblydore!!!!!!!!1111" said Tom. **[NO YOU SHUT UP!]**

"I've had enough of u Satanists in my school!!!!" shouted Dumbledore spuriously. **[Oh my god. Finally there is a line of words that are not underlined! Gasp! The world is dying! Everyone, run!]**

Suddenly I grabed da iPod from him. "Evry1! Jump in b4 itz 2 l8!!! I jumped in2 it. But only 1 odder person jumpd in. It was........Satan. **[Satan is that other odder person. So odd.]**

"You dunderheads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111" screamed Dumbledore wisely as we went.

I looked around. I wuz in da Slitherin conmen room wiv Satan. I was wearing a blak plaid miniskirt with hot pink fishnetz, a sexy blak MCR corset and blak stiletto boots with pink pentagroms on dem. My earrings were blake Satanist sins and my raven hair was all around me to my mid-black. **[Why?]**

"Hey kool where iz dis?" he asked in an emo voice. **[Like. I'm so emo, we apparently have voices now.]**

"Dis is da future. Dumbeldore's iPod dat he tried to take away from me wuz really also a tim machine." I told him. **[Tim is not a machine.]**

"Kool what's an ipatch?" he whimpered. **[An EYE patch is something you stick on your eye. You don't plop it on your ears and it magically plays music.]**

"It's somefing u use 2 lizzen 2 music." I yakked. **[And now you're a yak.]**

"OMFG kool wait whatz a 4-letter-wurd 4 dirt?" he esked in his sexah voice. **[Shit.]**

"Um I guezz sand????" I laid confuesdly. **[No. Shit!]**

"Yah I wuz just triinyg to make sure u were stil da same perzon." He triumphently giggled. 

Suddenly some of my friends walked in. 

"OMG you're fucking alive!" said Ginny wearing a blak leather jocket, blak baggy pants and a goffik black Frum First to Last shirt. I explained 2 her why I was alive. 

"Konichiwa, bitch." **[Kon'nichiwa, Baka.]** said Willow. She was wearing a blak corset showing off her boobs **[Slut.]** with lace all around it and red stipes on it. With it she waz wearing a blak leather miniskirt, big blak boots, white foundation, blak eyeliner, red eyeshadow, and blak lipstick. 

"Hey, motherfucker." Said Diabolo with his red hair. He waz wearing a black P?ATD t-shit **[Panic! at the Disco?]** and blak baggy pants. 

"Hey whose that, Ibony?" B'loody Mary **[Least her name isn't B'loody Mart anymore.]** questioned as she walked in wearing a black t-shit with a red pentarom on it with lace at the bottom, red letther pants with blak lace, and black stolettoes. **[What?]**

"Oh its Satan." I told her and she nodded knowing da truth. 

Suddenly Satan started to cry. **[Pentigrams fell from his eyes and possessed everyone.]**

"Are you okay Satan?" we asked concernedly. **[No. He's not. He's now stupid.]**

"OMFG ur from da future!!1! What if u don't like m anymore koz were from difrent times?????" he asked.

"No I still like you." I said sexily to him.

"Ok." He said ressuredly. I let him lizzen 2 Teenagers by MCR on my ipod while I was about to go outside to find out some fingz. I gave Diabolo a signal to keep Satan occupied. Satan fell asleep. I took the iPod. I was about to walk outside. **[Nice period placement. I left. I died. I came.]** Profesor Sinister ran in!!!!!!!1111 She was wearing a gothic blak minidress with depressing blak stripes, **[Clothes cannot be depressed.]** white and blak stripped tights, and red converse shoes. She was wearing LOTS of blak iliner.

"Oh my fucking god, where's Draco!!!!111 How did Snap get back here!!! I tohot he wuz in Azerbaijan." **[.............AZKABAN??]** I asked sadly.

"Ebony I was so worried abott u but I know you can't fucking die because you're a vrompire. Snape came back because that girl Britney freed him. I never liked her she was a bad student." Trevolry said reassuredly.

"That bitch!!!!!!!11 Did she also free Hargrid and Loopin?" I shouted angrily. I hated Britney **[Spears.]** because she was a fucking prep.

"Yes they are on the loose at this school. Dumblydore is back Cornelia is on his way to help evry1. Tell evry1 u see to lock themselves in their conman room!!!!!!" Trevolry said worriedly. **[Read Worridly as weirdly. At least Weirdly is a word.]**

"OK. But where's Dracko???? How cum he was doing it with Snap?????" **[The way you said that and using the word 'cum,' ...Eugh..]**

"I dunno why but I know he almost tried 2 commit suicide after he saw u almost kill urself." she said.

"OMG dat's terrible!!!!!!!!" I gasped. Satan was still asleep, so he couldn't tell what was going on. Then I said "Lizzen evry1, I have sumthing imptent to do. in hr evry1 stay!!!!!!!!!" wiv dat I ran out.

"Good luck Tara!!!!!!!11" **[Tara? GOOD LUCK EBONY WHO CHANGED INTO TARA.]** everyone cried.

I ran sexily down the staris in2 da Grate Hall while da portraits around looked at me scaredly. There was hardly ne1 else in the stairs nd tere was an atmosphere of horrer. **[Really.....? HorrER????]** On da way I saw Britney laughing on da stairs. She was wearing a a slutty pink shirt wiv flowers on it, a blu jean skirt Abercromie and pink stiletoos. She looked jest like a pentagram of those fucking preps Hilery Duff and Lindsey Lohan.

"You fucking bitch!!!!!111" I shouted angrily.

"No, your totally a bitch. Now Voldemort will like totally kill u!" she laughed. **[Like, totally.]**

"Crucious!!!!!!!!!1" I shouted selectively pontificating my blak wand and she started screaming koz she was being tortured and I laughed sodistically. **[You mean Crucio..?]**

"No!!!!!!1 Help me!!!!!!1 Please!!!!!!!!1" Britney screamed terrifiedly. **[No.]**

I put up my middle finger at her. In her hand I saw da video camera Snape and Lumpin had used to take da video of me. I put the tape of Voldimort doing it with Hedwigg onto it. Then I continued to rown down the stairs with the camera. When I had reached da Grate Hall I saw Vampire Potter. "OMG Vampira!!!!111" I yielded. **[Woah. Hello, stupid random Gothic boy.]**

We hugged each udder happily. **[You have udders now..? Well, I guess he's stupid enough to think your tits are udders so. Carry on with bullshit.]** He locked at me wif his gothic red eyes and spiky blak hair. Around them were blak eyeliner and iShadow. **[The new phone. iShadow.]** His He wus wearing a blak leather Jackson, **[Michael?]** ledder pants, a Panik at da Disko concert shirt and his blak congress shoes. He looked mor like Joel from Good Charlote than ever. (did u hear der song da river it rox!!!1)" **[Get outta here.]** I wus so worried you died!" moaned Vampire. **[Stop moaning.]**

"I know but Im a vampire lol. **[Lmao. Let us say lol in the middle of a sentence.]** When I woke up I wuz back in 1980, so neway I bought Voldimort from when he was yung with me."

"Where's Draco?" I asked spuriously.

"Draco? You mean that fukking poser who betroyed you?" Vampir snarkled with anger in his sexy voice.

"I NO BUT WE HAV 2 FIND HIM." I SED SMARTY. **[Smarty? What are you doing in this bullshit, Smarty?]**

"I'll do it den." Harry said angstily.

"OK." I argreed. Suddenly..........all da lights in da room went out. And den.......da Dork Mark appeared. **[Ooooh. Scary. Not.]**

"Oh my fucking satan!!!!!" Harry shouted. **[Call 1-800-S-ATAN for some good ol' fuckin'.]**

"I fink Voldimort has arrivd." I sed anxiously. "Fuck, I have to find Draco!!1 I guess we shood separate." **['Separation before something bad happens' cliche. _-Ding!-_ ]**

"Ok." Vampire sed diapperating. [ **Diapering? Is HARRY in diapers again?]** Sadly I ran into the Great Hall.

** Chapter 43. _[_ _Kill me now.]_   
**

AN: I fink after dis I wil hav abott 2 or three mor chapterz. **[You have one more. And I'll finally be done with this shit. Years later I never thought I'd be flaming yer bullshit fanfiction and people who never read this before are laughing. You, Tara, are the laughing stock of the writing community. And Raven is next.]** Fangz 2 all muh revyooers **[...? What in the holy God's name is a revyooers..? Eyesores? RENOVATORS? God damn, lady. Yer mumbo jumbo is horrible to read. Go back to school.]** not das flamers if u flamed sis story den u suk!!!!!!!!!111111 **[I bet I sucked more than you have in your life time. Ayyyyy.]** if u flam den fukk u!!!111 **[Not in your wildest dreams.]**

XXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX **[Illuminati.]**

I walked sexily into the Great Hall. **[Lemme just sway my hips and flash everyone in the room.]** It was empty except for one person. **[Holy shit. One sentence with proper grammar. Holy balls. Everyone, run away!]** Draco was there!! **[No shit.]** He sat der in deddly bloom in his blak 666 t-shirt and his baggy blak pants. He had slit his wrists!!!!!111 **[Everyone, lets slit our wrists together and flood the world with blood, Satan and bullshit. Death to America!]** I felt mad at him for having sexwith Snape but I felt sorry for him. **[I'd feel sorry for anyone to have any form of sexual intercourse with any of these characters.]** He looked just like Gerard Way with his red eyes and his pale white face. **[Go die with your bologna.]**

"Draco are you okay????" I asked. **[Did you not see the blood dripping from my wrists?]**

"I'm not okay." **[See?]** he screamed depressedly. **[That is not screaming. Screaming is putting an exclamation mark at the end of sentences. He's speaking, not screaming. Learn how the ending of sentences work.]** I thought of the MCR song nd I got even more depressed koz that song always makes me cry. **[You gonna cry blood from your limpid eyes that are non-existent?]** I gave him a pot cigarette and he started to smoke it. **[A pot cigarette. Yes. I know people actually roll up weed into a cigarette but really? You pot junkies.]**

"Oh Draco why did you do it with that fucking bastard Snape?" I asked teardully. [ **TEARDULLY..? TEARFULLY. THAT IS THE CORRECT WORD. BUT EVEN THAT DOESN'T FIT. Teary eyed does. Uughhhh... My brain is melting again, guys.]**

"I-" Draco began to say but suddenly Lupin and Mr. Norris appearated in2 da room!! They didn't see us. **[You guys are invisible.]**

"Im so glad we me and Snape were freed." said Loopin.

"Dam, this job would be great if it wasn't 4 da fukking students!" **[Apparently they fuck students. Watch out.]**   Mr. Norris argreed.

"Pop addelum!!!!!111" I yielded angrily pointing my wand at them. **[Is that even a spell? Looks like nothing I've ever seen. If this is some OC chain-binding, gtfo.]**

"Noooooooo!!!!1" Lupin shouted as chains came on him. Mr. Norris ran away. **[Later, bitch.]**

"You fukking perv." I said laughing wiv depths of evil and depressedness in my voice. **[Depths of evil and depressedness in her voice. God damn. That's retarded.]** "Now u have 2 tell us where Voldimort is or I'm gong 2 torture u!!!!" **[I'm gonna sprout words from this fanfiction; it'll make yer eyes and ears bleed.]**

"I don't now where he is!!!!1111" said Loopin. Suddenly Satan and Vampire ran in2 da room. Vampir didn't know who Satan was really. **[Liar.]**

"Oh my satan, we were so worried about u guys!!1" Vampire said. I looked sexily at Draco with his goffik red eyes with contacts, blak t-shirt that said 666 on it and pale skin like Gerord Way, **[ _-Sigh; murders the writer with a shotgun to the head.-_ You are free.] **Vampir with his sexy blak hair and red eyes just like Frank Iero and Satan who looked jist like Brandan Urie then. **[What the fuck?]**

I selectively took the caramel **[Caramel? Food?]** from my pocket. And then..... I began frenching Draco sexily. **[Here we go again. Rabbits! Rabbits I tell ya.]**   Loopin gasped. **[I'd gasp too. It's disgusting.]** Draco began to take all of his cloves off **[Clothing is now apparently cloves. Four leave clovers? Cloves of Garlic?]** and I could see his white sex-pack. **[Really?]** Then Vampire took his own clotes off too. We all began making out 2gther sexily. **[A horrible written threesome. I can write better smut with my eyes closed.]** I took off my blak leather bra, my blak lace thong and the rest of my clothes. **[I don't need to see you naked.]** Every1 took their glocks out except 4 me im a girl lol. **[Glocks? Guns? You mean their cocks. Dicks. Popsicle. Cream makers. Lollipops. Ding dongs. Schweens. Dyacks.]** "Oh mi satan!! Draco!!!!" I screamed as he put his hardness in my thingy **[He put his DICK in your PUSSY. In yer hole. Womanhood. Cave. Baby maker. Wet land.]** Den he did da same fing to Harry. **[That's gross.]** I began making out wiv Satan and he joined in. **[Is this a fucking orgy, pun intended, but why!? Are you guys gonna make horrible babies?]** "OMS!!!111" **[Wow...]** cried Vampire. "Oh Vampire! Vampire!!!" I screamed screamed. **[Screamed screamed. Okay...]** "Oh Satan!!!!!" yelled Harry in pleasore. Loopin watched in shock. Wee took turns doing torture curses on him koz we were all sadists. **[Nah. Yer all assholes who don't know how to fuck and also who doesn't know how to do anything right.]** Suddenly................................... **[This bullshit ended.]**

.............a big blak car that said 666 on the license plate flew strait through da windows. And Snap wuz in it!!!!!!!11 **[I can't wait until I'm done with this bullshit.]**

**Chapter 44.**

AN: well I hav noffing 2 say but evrt1 stup glamming ok!!111 **[You stop glamming, okay! You suck. This is the last bullshit and I can finally count up all the sins this has.]** if any gofik ppl r reading dis den u rok!!!11 **[I used to be a scene bitch. We don't act like this. You pretty much are racist against yer own kind of people.]** omg I stil kant wait 4 da movie!!!1 tom fleton is so hot lol i hop harry wil bekum gofik **[N O!]** koz mi frend told me he iz rlly emo in dis book!!!!1111 **[Harry is not 'emo' in any of the books nor the movies.]** omfg im leeving dubya **[..Dubai..? You can't leave a letter.]** pretty soon kant wait!!! Diz wil prolly be da last chaptah until I kum bak. **[And you never came back.]**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX **[Last time Illuminati is seen again.]**

"Dat's mi car!!!!" shooted Draco angrily. But suddenly it was revealied who was in da car. It wuz.............Snape!!!!! **[No shit Sherlock.]**

"I shall free you Loopin but first you must help me kill these idiotic donderheads." he said cruelly from the car as it flew circumamcizing above us. "Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way must be killed. **[Yes. Yes she does. Finally make it happen. I need this bitch dead; or I'll write a continuation, in _p r o p e r - g r a m m a r,_ and kill her off.]** Den the Dork Lord shall never die!!!!"

"You fucking prep!!!" yelled Draco. Then he loked at me sadly. "I forgot to tell u, Ebony. Snape made me do it with him. I didn't really have sexx him but he's a ropeist!!!!" **[He makes rope for a living.]**

We all put our clothes on quickly except Satan. We were so scarred!!!!1 **[So scurred.]** But Satan didn't change. Instead he changed into a man with gren eyes, no nose, a gray robe and white skin. He had changed into............ Voldemont!!!!!!!111 **[NO FUCKING SHIT.]**

"I knew who thou were all along." he cackled evilly and sarcastically at me. "Now I shall kill thee all!!!!!!" Thunder came in da room. **[I shall kill thee all with myeth magicaleth peniseth.]**

"No plz don't kill us!" pleaded Vampire. Suddenly Willow, B'loody Mary, Diabolo, Ginny, Drocula, Fred and Gorge, Hargrid, McGonagall, Dumblydore, Serious and Lucian all ran in. **[Wow. How did they all get there? Teleportation?]**

"What is da meaning of dis?" Dumblydore asked all angrily and Voldimort lookd away (bcos dumblydore is da only whizard he is scared of.) **[No shit.]** He did a spell and suddenly his broomstick came to him sexily. **[What the fuck? Did it hip thrust in the air and turn around, stick its ass up and then float to 'em?]** Volxemort flew above the roof evilly on his broomstik. **[Ugh.]**

"Oh my goth!" Slugborn gosped. (geddit kos im goffik) **[Geddit, kos I dnt care.]**

"The Dark Lord shall kill all of you. Then you must submit to him!!!!" Snape ejaculated **[.....OKAY I HAVE NO WORDS.]** menacingly.

"You fucking preppy fags!" **[Using _fags_ in this way is, again, _offensive_.]** Serious shouted angrily.

"I know a four-letter word 4 dirt, CRUCIATUS!!!" **[That is not four letters. That's nine.]** screamed Harry but da sparks from his wand only hit Draco's car. It fell down Snap quickly crowled out of it and picked up the cideo camera.

"Oh my fucking god!!!1" I cried becoze the video of me in da bathrum, the video of me dong it wif Drako and the video of Satan doing it with **[With who? Yer mom?]**

"If you kill me then deze cideos will be shown to everyone in the skull. **[In the skull? Are you gonna shoot the videos in their heads?]** Then u can be just like that goffik girl Paris Hillton." **[Woah. Okay.]** He laughed meanly.

"No!" I scremed. "FYI I hav da picter of u doing it with Loopin!!!!11"

"Whats she talking abott??????" Lupin slurped as he sat in chains. **[Did he slurp up cum?]**

"I saw 2 she's gunna show evry1 da picter!!!111" Harry shouted angrily.

"Shut up!!!111'" Lumpkin roared.

"Foolish ignoramuses!!!!!!" **[The fuck?]** yielded Voldemort from his broomstick. "Thou shall all dye soon." **[We shall all dye the color red.]**

"Think again you fucking muggle poser!!!!!1" Harry **[Welp. His name changed again.]** yelled and then he and Diablo and Navel **[Belly Button.]** both took out blak guns! But Voldimort took out his own one.

"U guyz are in a Latin stand-of!!!!!!!111" I shouted despariedrly.

"Acco Nevel's wand!!!11" cried Voldrimort nd suddenly Nevil's wind was in his hands. "Now I shall kill thee all and Evony u will die!!!!!!!!11111" **[KILL HER!]**

He maid lighting come all over da place.

"Save us Ebony!" Dumbledark cried. **[NO!]**

I cried sexily I just wanted 2 go 2 the commen room and slit my wrists with mi friends while we watched Shark Attak 3 and Saw 2 and do it with Draco but I knew I had 2 do somefing more impotent. [ **Wow. Just.. Wow..]**

"ABRA KEDABRA!!!!!!!!!!!11111" I shooted. **[OOOOOH. Abra Kedabra! Magic trick time!]  
**

**\-----------------------------------------**

**Oh my god. I am finally done..! Thank fuck. My brain melted once again. If you guys want me to do anything else with this, like attempt to fix up some parts you actually want to see fixed up, let me know and I'll see what I can do.**

**Until then, I'll see you when I flame and sin Raven's work; people on Wattpad won't see it. It's only on Archive of Our Own.  
**

**Until then again, have fun. I'll have an official finishing statement as well as going CinemaSins style and actually tallying up all my bold markings for a Writing Sins Counter for all the sins this has.**


	8. [Writing Sins Counter.] || Final Part. ||

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CinemaSins Style!

_**Writing Sins Counter ~ 1,130** _

_**Sentence ~ Brain Damage.** _

* * *

**Anyway! That was it for this thing. I just wanted to do that so all of you can see how many bold "Sins" was there. May be a bit off but it's around there.**

**I hope you enjoyed this. I betcha can't wait until I do the others I have going. Ugh..**

* * *

**What I thought of the story in and of itself. It was horrible. It could have been better if everything was written correctly and it had a proper story line to go along with it, but it didn't. That's all I really have to say. Nothing else apeals to me. I hope you all went through as much pain as I did.**

**That is all.**

**~ End. ~**


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